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In celebrity dust-ups this weekend, we head across the pond, where Larry King-successor Piers Morgan go into a tiff with supe Kate Moss at a dinner thrown by Topshop owner Sir Philip Green and British GQ editor Dylan Jones. Here's Morgan's sort of hilarious account of the conversation—which he says started after he approached Moss when he saw her "scowling" at him from across the room. Auspicious start, no?
‘Oh no—look what the cat’s dragged in,’ she mocked.
‘Now, now, I come bearing olive branches.’
‘Apologise,’ she demanded.
‘Being an ***hole all your life.’
It seemed a fair enough charge.· Kate Moss: 'Apologise. Now.' Me: 'For what?' Kate: 'Being an idiot all your life.' It seemed a fair enough charge [Daily Mail]
‘I’ll do that if you apologise for kicking me.’
I cleared my throat. ‘I’m sorry for being an ***hole all my life.’
‘Your turn, Kate.’
‘No, I’m not apologising to you. Forget it.’
‘OK, then I’ll have to retract my own apology.’
Sir Philip Green appeared. ‘You two made up yet?’
‘Not quite,’ I said.
At which point I felt a Louboutin-pointed foot lash out under the table and collide with the table leg.
‘Did you just try to kick me again?’
She giggled, then asked, ‘Are you gay?’
‘No,’ I replied. ‘I just don’t fancy you—sorry. More a Cindy Crawford man myself.’
She stared straight into my eyes, furious at first, then burst out laughing.
‘You’ve got me all wrong,’ I persisted. ‘Ask Naomi.’
‘She hates you too.’
‘No she doesn’t. I’ll prove it.’
I phoned Miss Campbell.
‘Naomi, please tell Kate what a nice man I am.’
‘OK,’ said Naomi. ‘I will.’
I passed my phone to Kate, and could see her face scrunch into a tight ball of disbelief.
‘What? No, he’s not. Is he? Really?’
I smiled. ‘See? Told you.’
Half an hour later, the ice had thawed, the bottle of wine we were sharing had disappeared, and I extended the hand of peace. Kate took it, and we shook. Not exactly Potsdam, but hey, it’s a start.
‘Your place or mine?’ I winked.
And she giggled again.