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"Anyway, I have a plan. I've bought some Islamic underscarves online, and some pretty rectangles of chiffon. I can adopt the hijab until my hair grows back. I've always liked the look. And just imagine. I'm at some media do, in my pomp, and a big Islamophobe wanders over—Melanie Phillips for choice. 'Have you become a Muslim,' she asks sternly. 'No, no, worry not,' I reply, soothingly. 'It's OK. Really. I just have cancer.'" [Guardian]