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Introducing Doll, Racked's first transgender guest blogger. Always secretly wishing he'd been born a Barbie, Doll was a young army brat who grew up and became a citizen of the world. After landing in Manhattan, he became a New York fashion insider, working in a high-powered industry position, living a life worthy of a feature film.
After mysteriously vanishing from the scene, Doll recently resurfaced and has embarked on a new roller-coaster ride of a journey. Follow his transformation, week by week, right here on Racked.
“I like my money right where I can see it... hanging in my closet.” —Carrie Bradshaw
Wardrobe Transition: Summer to Fall, Man to Woman
Doll: All good things come to an end, summer is over and fall has finally crept in on us. I have mixed emotions, but am actually relieved that the season has changed. My body went through a lot of awkward phases during the last few months and will continue going through many more as the weather gets cooler. The cold front works in my favor as I’m able to wear layers upon layers of clothes. So this week I took out my cashmere sweaters, jackets, long coats, fur, fur, and more fur out of storage. Since these days, I'm dressing like a woman, I knew it was time to purge my wardrobe and rid myself of any remnants of my former masculinity (or should I say what was left of it, since there wasn’t much there to begin with).
Along with the help of my BFF Dr. Ken, I painstakingly went through item after item. Making the final decisions about whether I should take, toss or store the material items of my former boy self. Ridding my closet of all those "boyish" belongings, I have to admit felt like such a major step forward in my transition. If Dr. Ken hadn’t been there to hold my hand through the epic process, it would’ve been unbearable.
I’ve never been one to save for a rainy day so the majority of my income was allocated towards the acquisition of designer duds. As silly as this may sound, I consider my wardrobe the fashion equivalent to a 401K—it’s my investment. Letting go was tres tres dificil!
As I giddily scoured through the boxes and garment bags of yesteryears, I found myself putting on an impromptu fashion show for my only audience member, Dr. Ken. I couldn’t help realizing how every piece of clothing had its own story that related to some memorable event from my former life. Everything had some type of sentimental value, like my sequin Dolce & Gabbana Batman tee that I wore my very first day as a fashion intern. I remembered how excited I was when I found that tee knowing it was the perfect “first day on the job” attire! That internship changed my life, and the T-shirt reminds me of that pivotal period in my career. However, as much as I would love to keep all these memories locked in storage forever, I know it’s time to let go and leave my past behind. Besides, one person’s trash is another’s treasure, right? – I mean who wouldn’t want the Gucci beaver motorcycle jacket with leather detailing or the navy velvet YSL blazer with satin trim (from the Tom Ford years)? I did however decide to keep everything that I own from Dior Homme (I can see myself channeling Carla Bruni in my very female future ).
After seven hours of grueling manual labor (p.s. Thanks again Dr. Ken for all of your help. I really couldn’t afford to gain anymore muscle mass!), I contemplated what to do with the items that will no longer fit with my budding female aesthetic. Initially, I wanted to sell them at a consignment shop and perhaps turn a small profit. Realistically speaking, I decided that would simply require more work for me and I probably wouldn’t get a fair deal. Case and point, most consignment stores have 50/50 point of sale policies. Then to top it off if the items didn’t sell, I’d be forced to take them back into storage. So after much thought and careful consideration, I realized that many of the pieces that composed my male wardrobe would perfectly fit the gays of my life. Nothing would make me happier than seeing my best friends rock my former male ensembles and properly do justice to the fashion items that gave me so many fabulous memories. That being said, my mission is now accomplished—and my wardrobe is officially transitioned from summer to fall and from boy to girl. No regrets on my end, my closet has never looked this good!
The sequined Batman tee along with a few of my other memorable fashion staples, made the cut and can be found in a storage unit under lock and key. Just because I’ve changed doesn’t mean all the most precious memories of my past as a boy must, so I kept one or two important souvenirs as a reminder!