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As Seen on TV: Things We Covet But Can't Bring Ourselves to Buy

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We love shopping on TV.
· Flamingo toilet set, $19.95 + $6.95 s&h: "Add a Touch of Paradise to your Bathroom," is the tagline. We're in it for the eerie disembodied flamingo head on the toilet seat cover.
· Bedazzler Standard, $19.95 + $7.95 s&h: We've wanted a Bedazzler ever since we were 11. 20 years later and we still haven't gotten one. Our mom was right: We'd never use it. But it will always be the classic As-Seen-On-TV product of our childhood.
· Shoe-organizing bedskirt, $14.95 + $6.95 s&h: For those middle-of-the-night emergencies when you're in a footwear pinch.
· 600-piece sewing box, $14.95 + $6.95 s&h: Our sewing needs really are this vast.
· Butter dispenser, $14.95 + $6.95 s&h: Butter has always been delicious, but it hasn't always been this beautiful.
· The Split-Ender, $59.98 + $14.95 s&h: For when you have a lot of split ends, are bored with your scissors, and are too cheap to spring for a trim.