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It's Week Eight of Project Runway, and Tim Gunn and Garnier's "celebrity stylist," Philip Carreon, inform the nine remaining contestants, that for this week's challenge, they should each design an outfit that represents one of the four natural elements: earth, air, water and fire. Realizing that Bryant Park is now within their sights, the designers all panic, despite the relative openness of the assignment.
Many of the designers choose to represent their elements atypically. Anthony works with gray and black fabrics to create a dress which symbolizes fire, because arsonists once set fire to his church, resulting in dark ashes. Seth Aaron represents air with black leather-like vinyl and silver fasteners, with the justification that they're supposed to be New York's starry midnight air. We guess he hasn't looked up at New York's sky much. Finally, Ben attempts to conjure the image of water by making a suit that represents a shark, complete with a fin-like collar and faux shark's teeth on the cuffs, but lacking any fake blood stains.
Nina Garcia and Michael Kors are both judging this week. Joining them as a guest judge, is the French fashion designer, Roland Mouret. English may not be Mouret's native language, and he may use the word "catwalk" more frequently than Nina uses the phrase, "taste issues," but he is one of the better judges this season and offers interesting commentary.
Our top three designers for the week are Maya, who creates a ruffled gray silk dress which is supposed to remind its viewers of water, but unfortunately, reminds the judges of Nina Ricci; Seth Aaron with his interesting leather-esque ensemble; and Jonathan with his flouncy "air equals laughter" design, in which his own custom made textiles mirror his model's pink hued skin tone. And the winner is....Jonathan, in his first victory of the season! The bottom three this week include Ben, who after eight weeks of being virtually ignored by the editors, is shown speaking a foreshadowing seventeen times. Joining Ben and his ill-fitting shark suit, are Mila, whom the judges finally start to realize might be a one color blocking trick pony, and Amy, whose dress purposefully looks like a giant bowl collecting her model's hair. Unfortunately Heidi bids "auf wiedersehen" to Ben, whose Project Runway Bryant Park collection, which we now know was one of many decoys, was also one of the best.
And in our As Tears Go By count, Ben cries twice. First, while speaking on the phone with his husband and then when he gets aufed, bringing the number of crying jags this season to fourteen.
And now for this week's Top Ten Moments of Project Runway Greatness....
10. Roland Mouret says that even when Seth Aaron leaves a room, "his clothes talk for him." Unfortunately, they usually say "Welcome to Hot Topic."
9. When Amy pitches Tim on her hair in a dress idea, he suggests she should first, "Let this just distill with in you." Judging by her final design, it wasn't the only thing distilling within her.
8. Tim is shooing everyone from the sewing room, when he looks up surprised and says, "Oh Ben!" It seems even Tim forgets about Ben, just like the editors do.
7. Anthony says his model Christina, "comes down the runway like a Clydesdale." As far as we could tell, she was walking on just two legs and did not need to be cleaned up after.
6. Michael sneers that Amy's model looks like a barmaid serving her own hair. Actually, it looks more like she's serving someone else's.
5. Jonathan explains taking his model's skin tone into consideration by saying, "Pale understands pale." We wonder if Michael Kors understands Jack O' Lanterns.
4. Regarding Seth Aaron's outfit, Anthony pontificates, "I just don't see women saying, 'Oh my God, I would love to be seen in that,'" right after we'd announced to our television that we wanted it.
3. When the designers are choosing their elements, Tim announces, "Anthony is on fire," and Anthony responds, "Yes, literally," saving us the trouble.
2. Jay tells the remaining male designers, "We're like a Victoria's Secret Wonderbra, we lift each other." Considering that one of them then gets eliminated, the fact that Victoria's Secret doesn't manufacture Wonderbras makes it the ideal analogy.
1. Anthony says, "I don't know why Amy is choosing in this moment to give her model hairy t*ts. She needs a Nair affair up there."
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