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If you're going to renew Kell On Earth—and, trust, we'll watch if you do—please cobble together the full second season of episodes from fashion week and do not try and create drama from nothing. The birthday party Andrew and Stefanie threw for Kelly? Boring. The DKNY "short film" shoot? Well, production went too well to add suspense and the finished product was too lackluster to make up for it. We want harried marketing directors demanding birdcages for their fashion shows! Collapsing models! Mentally-challenged magazine writers swallowing Swarovski crystals they mistook for Vicodin! We don't want to see PR assistants pretending to be engaged to get free wedding cake samples. It's a little too real and a lot not funny.
All that said, we still put together a top ten: The ten best moments of the season finale of Kell On Earth await.
10.) Andrew has the Margiela shade sunglasses and judging from his Rick Owens wedges and Versace armchair, we're assuming they're real. He wore them (with a skirt) to sample wedding cakes as Stefanie's fiance. And yet, we almost find straight-and-engaged Andrew more plausible than the idea of Stephanie having a fiance.
9.) She's right there with us: "I just hope there's a man the day of my wedding."
8.) While we're ripping Stefanie to shreds: Anyone notice that she has the exact same listless, defeated walk that Jennifer Aniston totally owned (shocker) in the Good Girl?
7.) Sometimes Kelly does not live in reality: "It's really important as a leader to be in a good mood."
6.) She's in such a good mood all the time that she likes "Ava to see [her] at work because [she thinks] it's really good role-modeling." And it is—it's not like she ever curses, destroys peoples lives, has major hissy fits, and/or burns Native American soul stones in the office as her employees flamboyantly gag on their purported good energy (we just call that good energy smoke).
5.) Plus, Ava now knows that in lieu of requesting and paying for permits she can just hire a bunch of over-sized, ex-cop, goon security guards to slap backs and chortle with any police-people that question her inalienable right to film a bunch of models sauntering through the streets of New York in a bunch of heinous DKNY "Cozy" sweaters available in a full array of colors straight-copied the from Express fall/winter '08 collection.
4.) Speaking of the DKNY short film and how it wasn't good enough to warrant a totally drama-free day of production: Did you see the People's Revolution staff reaction to the video? Bored silence, toothless smiles, a single clap before universal dispersal. Go team!
3.) Ugh, the people at Kelly's birthday party? That dumb bitch with the hat: Just because Isabella Blow is no more doesn't mean there's an opening, especially if granny reading glasses pilfered from the Lion's Club donation bin are involved. And, don't get us started on the PiL tee shirt.
2.) The humor of the shot of Emily very obviously housing a series of pills while Kelly angrily rambled was not lost.
1.) Kelly cried! Real tears! Once at her birthday surprise party and again in the confessional! Aw, fashion peoples sometimes do have souls!