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It's week eleven of Project Runway, and Heidi tells the remaining designers that they'll each be designing a red carpet gown for a celebrity with "a reputation for being opinionated, headstrong and knowing what they want." This surprise celeb is, to quote Seth Aaron, "Fucking Heidi." Yes, for the second time this season, the designers will be designing for Mrs. Seal. Obviously, she is the only celebrity in New York.
After visiting Mood, the designers begin working on their gowns, but Maya quickly goes missing. She eventually returns with Tim, and announces that she's decided to leave the show. Maya is only twenty-one, and feels like her vision isn't formed enough yet to be working at this level. Perhaps she could have realized this BEFORE week eleven. Maya's announcement does finally explain the mystery of why she was the only one of the top ten designers not to show a collection or decoy collection at Fashion Week. After seeing Janeane's dreadful decoy collection, we suspect that Maya may have regretted her decision. We certainly do.
Maya's defection means that one of the eliminated designers will now return. Fingers crossed, waiting with anticipation, could it be...? Yes, it's Anthony! His fellow designers seem genuinely glad to see him, with Jonathan calling him, "a breath of fresh air." Jonathan's opinion on his return probably won't last... But that's not the only surprise of the episode. Tim later returns to the workroom and pulls Seth Aaron aside. His model, Valeria, has booked a job with Donna Karan, a job she turned down on last week's episode of Models of the Runway. Now Seth Aaron must alter his design to fit his new model, Cerrie, who, like Anthony, also returns to the show—thus negating both of last week's aufings.
This week, Michael Kors and Nina Garcia are both judging. Joining them as guest judge, is actress and red carpet denizen, Jessica Alba. Wait. If Jessica is judging, couldn't the designers have created gowns for her instead of Heidi? Hmmm. Did someone miss her plane or get lost in the bowels of Parsons?
Our top two designers for the week are Emilio, with an impeccably made, shimmery copper gown, and Anthony, with a dramatic black and white evening dress. In the third and final surprise of the episode, the designers are told that there isn't "a winner" this week, but rather two winners. Emilio, with his fourth win of the season, will have his dress worn on a red carpet by Heidi. And the prodigal Anthony, in his second win, will have his gown worn by Jessica (Adding credence to our theory...) Our bottom two designers for the week are Jay, whose dress is pretty, but bottom widening, and Jonathan, with his last minute, third attempt disaster of a gown. Not surprising anyone, including the designer himself, Heidi bids "Auf Wiedersehen" to Jonathan.
And in our As Tears Go By count, no one cries, which means that once again, the number of crying jags for the season remains stagnant at sixteen.
And now for this week's Top Ten Moments of Project Runway Greatness...
10. Mila says, "In the prior challenge, the judges were hard on everyone." No Mila. Not everyone. Mainly you.
9. In honor of Easter, an aufed designer and an aufed model are both resurrected.
8. While shopping at Mood for fabrics for Heidi's dress, Emilio says he wants something, "that will really make her pop." Perhaps not the best choice of words for a pregnant client.
7. "I do find some relief in seeing other designers struggling, because if I'm in the bottom, maybe somebody else's dress will tank worse than mine," says the always selfless Mila.
6. With regard to his dress's skirt, Jay says, "I like big butts." Thanks for explaining, Sir Stitch-A-Lot.
5. Regarding Mila's dress, Nina says, "It looks like something The Housewives of New Jersey would wear." Psst, Nina, you're not on Bravo anymore.
4. To illustrate why his garment's neckline won't work, Heidi gives Jay a close look at her cleavage. Thousands of heterosexual males, stuck viewing Project Runway with their wives, secretly think, "What a waste!"
3. Mila is the only woman left. This is Lifetime, so we know she's not going anywhere.
2. Heidi tells Jay that no woman wants a dress which makes her look bigger than she is. Except perhaps, Rachel Zoe.
1. About his return, Anthony says, "Who wants Anthony back? Hell who wouldn't want Anthony back. I like him, you should like him too." We do.