Simon Doonan Wants to Make Women Sad. Kind of. Ok, Not Really.

Racked is no longer publishing. Thank you to everyone who read our work over the years. The archives will remain available here; for new stories, head over to Vox.com, where our staff is covering consumer culture for The Goods by Vox. You can also see what we’re up to by signing up here.

In his Observer column this week Barneys' Creative Director Simon Doonan writes:

According to Harvard professor Jennifer Lerner, women are disinclined to shop when they are frightened or angry—hence the plunge in purchases after Wall Street crashes or terrorist attacks—but more inclined to shop when they feel sad.

OMG! The rest of the week is a blur. After hearing this game-changing tidbit, my retailer’s brain skipped off down the rabbit hole and began concocting ever more baroque ways to make customers mournful, preferably without them realizing it. What if we dressed little children à la Oliver Twist and stationed them at the various entrances to Barneys? What if we piped in Andy Williams singing “Autumn Leaves” over and over again? The customers might shop their brains out, but what would be the effect on the salespeople? Maybe they would go all limp and suicidal and be unable to help the weeping-but-shopaholic customers?

Do you think that's true? Do you shop more when you're sad?

For us, it's like eating. Other people say they shop and eat when they're sad, depressed, stressed, or bored. We shop and eat all the time. Sigh.
· Study (Mine) Reveals Key to Celebrity: Icy Unavailability [NY Observer]