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Fashion emergency

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Can someone at KLM please help Bryanboy find his luggage? "All my clothes, my shoes, my handbags, my accessories, my printed Topman underwear—briefs with printed lips, my precious Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs are now gone. GONE. GONE. GONE WITH THE WIND GONE. The day I used my Prada nylon suitcase (and not the Vuitton trunk) to scrimp on weight because of the bitch ass baggage allowance is also the day the airlines decided to do my head in." It's hard to win these days with airlines—you can hardly carry anything onboard, but if you check in nice luggage, it (often, suspiciously) will go missing. [Bryanboy]