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Our post-Memorial Day round-up of all Racked's favorite stories this week: Whitney Port gets a fashion smackdown from Joe Zee and Anne Slowey; Oklahoma's inmates get a new look for summer: Sunny pastels!; Miyuki Hatoyama, Japan's ex-first lady, was abducted by aliens; The $1,625 Balmain T-shirt is on sale for $1,025; Lori (and Lucy) Goldstein head to East Hampton for the summer; What's up with all these skinny people saying they're not skinny?; Obsession of the day: The Joan Shepp spring sale is now on; Buy Tiger Woods' used, signed shirt for $16,000.