Racked is no longer publishing. Thank you to everyone who read our work over the years. The archives will remain available here; for new stories, head over to Vox.com, where our staff is covering consumer culture for The Goods by Vox. You can also see what we’re up to by signing up here.
Introducing Doll, Racked's first transgender guest blogger. Always secretly wishing he'd been born a Barbie, Doll was a young army brat who grew up and became a citizen of the world. After landing in Manhattan, he became a New York fashion insider, working in a high-powered industry position, living a life worthy of a feature film.
After mysteriously vanishing from the scene, Doll recently resurfaced and has embarked on a new roller-coaster ride of a journey. Follow his transformation, week by week, right here on Racked.
Doll: I've been on the hormones for 6 months now. Although the physical changes are happening at a glacial pace—I'm happy to say that I am satisfied with the progress. Here’s a status update.
Caution: this will look like a brain dump.
Hair: My hair is finally long enough to be tied with a ponytail, and I have found a new obsession with playing with hair extensions and trying different hairstyles. Most importantly my hairline has grown back, thank God.
Body hair: The hair on my body has lessened. My facial features have slightly softened and feminized; I have more prominent cheek bones and my skins texture has smoothed out.
Breasts: I have significant breast growth—not big enough to show cleavage just yet or to wear a bra—but there is a good amount of breast tissue development. My doctor said that the size of my breasts will be dependent on my genetics, so naturally I asked my mother how big hers were during her mid-twenties, and she said she was a 34B. I'd be content with a 34B—anything bigger would restrict me from being a sample size.
Waist: My waist has shrunk three inches in the past four months, I swear. If they could isolate the part of the hormones that do that, it would be the world's greatest weight loss drug.
Butt: My butt has rounded out a bit. I can definitely notice the difference when I put on my skinny jeans.
Thighs: My thighs are an inch larger around now. I didn't really need that, but beggars can't be choosers.
Weight: Friends whom I haven't seen for quite some time have said "You've lost some weight." As much as I would love to be down to my birth weight. I actually weigh the same, it's the effect of the female hormones that my friends have noticed. The fat distribution in my body has completely changed—most noticeably on my face.
Voice: Whenever I have a conversation with someone I don't know over the phone they always refer to me as Miss or Ma'am. But some realize their mistake after I speak more or when I give my full name, regardless I get giddy anyway. However I can certainly modulate my voice easily if I wanted to play along.
Chivalry: I took a cab the other day, and the credit card machine wasn’t working and I didn't have cash on me. The driver politely said it was okay and that the ride was on him. That has never happened to me before. Usually they'd take me to an ATM where I can go withdraw. Could it have been the female pheromones I was giving off?
Mood Swings: Before the hormone therapy, I was a borderline stoic. Surprisingly I have noticed some major emotional changes. I get easily annoyed and I can cry in a drop of a hat, I was watching The Notebook last night bawling my eyes out. But I don't want to be an emotional crybaby and I definitely hope to keep the rational side of my brain intact.
NSFW Warning: Ok, now, the next things are about very personal things you may or may not want to know. So, you can choose to stop reading here or continue, if you like. I know you will continue, though. Who doesn't like to read about personal things?
· My sex drive is way down. It decreased steadily in the first month. But I'm so relieved to no longer wake up to morning wood—sigh. These are the moments that make life worth living.
· It's taking a lot longer to orgasm now than it did before.
· My semen has gone from creamy white to runny clear and decreased in amount.