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Week 4 Recap: Heidi Klum Would Totally Wear Hot Pants and Hats

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It's Week Four of Project Runway and the show kicks off with an excited Heidi Klum bringing all the models out onto the runway, each attired in a breathtakingly artistic hat. We, too, become excited, once she introduces the creator, the legendary Philip Treacy, whom the show describes as a "hat designer," since presumably they don't think we know what "milliner" means.

This week, the designers' assignment is to create looks which will compliment the hats. Most of the designers are thrilled by the prospect, but Kristin is overwhelmed by the fact that her assigned hat resembles a giant orchid. The designer eventually begins to like her hat, to the point of becoming aroused while describing the orchid's sexual qualities. We wonder if Georgia O'Keefe got this hot talking about her flowers.

Some of the designers have problems in the workroom. Michael C's material puckers terribly, so he has to cut off the bottom of his dress and restyle it. April is not dissuaded from making badly fitting hot pants, despite Tim Gunn comparing them to a diaper. Then Tim tells a worried Casanova that his dress looks like Donna Karan in 1988, which is actually an improvement for the designer, since it doesn't look like a stripper from that same year.

Joining Michael Kors and Nina Garcia as this week's guest judge is, of course, Philip Treacy. Not only does the Irish-born, English-based designer judge, but he also helps style the models. We think this is detracts from the impact of a judge seeing the designs for the first time on the runway, but Treacy obviously insists that no one else touch his hats. Despite his control issues, or perhaps because of them, the designer turns out to be a great judge. Not only is he outspoken in his views, but unlike most guest judges, he has no problem disagreeing with the regular judges. Repeatedly.

Some of the judges' choices for best and worst designers this week are surprising. The three top designers include: Michael C, whose flowing copper-brown dress must have complimented the red hat he was working with much better in person than it did onscreen; Michael D, with an amazing architectural corrugated cardboard-looking top, with a less impressive rust colored skirt; and Valerie, who despite making Labyrinth and David Bowie references about her design, ends up creating a tame, short pink dress which Philip Treacy doesn't think works with her black masque-hat. And our winner for the week is...Michael C! Michael quickly goes from humble to Gretchen-like cocky, by describing his own win as, "Shocking, but well deserved."

Our bottom three designers for the week included Kristin, whose black and pink gown was too "sad" and didn't work well with her orchid hat; April, with her ill-fitting diaper shorts; and, much to all the other designers' and our own amazement, Christopher, whose silver print buccaneer influenced top and leggings struck us as a fitting match for his pirate-like hat, but was described by the judges as too "heavy" and "out of style." Not surprisingly, Heidi bids her "auf Wiedersehen" to Kristin, whose exit is gracious, possibly because she'd given up already.

And in our As Tears Go By count, Michael C cries when he learns he won the challenge and April sobs when she's put in the bottom three. This brings our number of crying jags for the season to a grand total of six.

And now for this week's Top Ten Moments of Project Runway Greatness...

10). Ivy was inspired by the juxtaposition of mesh and the solid fabric curtains in the hospital. We can only be thankful she wasn't inspired by the juxtaposition of blood and sutures.

9). Kristin says this is a tough challenge because, "It's so literal and I don't do literal." She also doesn't do stylish or well fitted.

8). Valerie wears her white measuring tape around her head Pocahontas-style. Forever 21 will be selling a mysteriously similar item next week.

7). For some reason, Michael C spanks Kristin, who responds with, "I need that so bad." Surprisingly, this was before her loss.

6). Andy imagines a member of the royal family wearing his hat. We suspect even Queen Elizabeth would describe it as, "Not revealing enough."

5). Much to our surprise, Heidi's response to April's very short hot pants isn't, "I'd wear that."

4). Michael D points out that Michael C didn't bring a ruler with him, then adds, "There are many ways to skin a cat. But you should probably bring a knife." We suspect Jeffrey Dahmer has had similar thoughts.

3). When Kristin shows Tim the shrug she wants to make for her dress, he jumps back, shrieking in horror as though he'd seen a mouse, a severed head, or Emilio Sosa.

2). After finding himself in the bottom three, but surviving it, Christopher says, "This is the worst day of my entire life." We want Christopher's life.

1). Valerie describes her scoop neck and razor back short pink dress as, "Edwardian."

· Betsey, Balloons & the Top Ten Moments of Gretch-, um, Greatness [Racked]
· From Safety Pins to Billboards: The Marie Claire Woman [Racked]
· Season Eight's Premiere: + Thirty Minutes and - $1,070 Pants [Racked]