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Introducing Doll, Racked's first transgender guest blogger. Always secretly wishing he'd been born a Barbie, Doll was a young army brat who grew up and became a citizen of the world. After landing in Manhattan, he became a New York fashion insider, working in a high-powered industry position, living a life worthy of a feature film.
After mysteriously vanishing from the scene, Doll recently resurfaced and has embarked on a new roller-coaster ride of a journey. Follow his transformation, week by week, right here on Racked.
Tie-side panties, $90 at Agent Provocateur
"Tucking is a delicate procedure that I have described as an ancient Chinese secret. On other occasions I have said that I am "sitting on a secret," and that’s really it in a nutshell." — RuPaul
Doll: When I was just a little boy dressing in women’s clothing, fantasizing about becoming a woman, I would scour the city’s gay clubs for the exquisite creatures known as Drag Queens and transvestites. I was bewildered and eager to know how they flawlessly put away their "package," if you know what I mean. I also did my research online to learn everything I could about the art of tucking, but it’s really different when you are given a firsthand tutorial—kinda like CPR—you really don’t get the hang of it unless someone shows you.
Let’s take it from the master herself—in RuPaul’s book Lettin’ It All Hang Out she outlines the perfect tuck.
This is what you do; you put your tucking panties on. There are different types of tucking panties, such as specially made things called "gaff," but I prefer to use girl’s bikini bottoms. Mine are size small and made out of very tight woven Spandex. Then you take your penis (preferably your non erect penis), and pull it back toward your butthole, pushing everything—balls and all—backward.
In this way the font part of your pelvis is flat and your balls are between your legs, bisected by your penis, which is headed south toward the border. The penis lifts and separates the two contenders so that you have one testicle on either side delicately nestled like eggs between your thighs. It’s important not to get a hard-on as you begin the process. From this point on put all thought of romance or sex out of your head. If you get aroused, all hell could break loose. Then you adjust the fierceness of the tuck by pulling your panties up between your butt-cheeks in the back. Once in place, the panties will keep the whole package securely wrapped and bonded. Generally, as long as the tuck isn’t too tight, it doesn’t really hurt.
But one wrong move can have the effect of a nutcracker and make the strongest of drag queens shriek, "Girl, call me a cab."
I was told by drag queens (who are not taking hormones) that their best friends—after tweezers and magnifying mirrors—are heavy-duty duct tape, scissors, Advil, and their trusty gaff.
A gaff (right) is a clothing item designed to give the male wearer a clean line while wearing a dress by hiding the genitals. It's similar in appearance to thong underwear. During the early stages of my self-discovery, I had to learn how to hide my little secret using those exact basics. Excruciatingly painful at first, but, in time, the body gets used to all the packing and stuffing that’s going on. However, after years of practice and dedication, I am proud to say that I have graduated and now need little support in neatly putting unnecessary things away. It all comes—and goes—with time. One of my transgendered mentors can perform jumping jacks without having her skin extension exposed. And now as if a miracle has touched me in a very special place—goodbye gaffs, hello women’s lingerie!!
My Asian girlfriend, Kylie, who insists that our destinies are not only intertwined but interchanged—the girl is truly a gay man stuck in a woman’s body—shares my interest in fine lingerie. I prefer undies that tie at the side because you can adjust the tightness accordingly. Usually this specific type of lingerie is reserved for special occasions, ergo it is found in specialty boutiques that cater to such moments—or for the "kinky bitches of the world" as Kylie would say. Since it's absolutely necessary for me to use underpinnings that aren’t just barely there, but also very well-constructed—for the necessary support—quality goes a long way to getting the job done.
Kylie takes it to a completely different level. I was sifting through her lingerie chest when I found a curious little creature amongst her silk and lace. It was a leather dog mask by Ilya Fleet. Just goes to show that people express themselves in different ways.
Her are places where I find my sexy little things:
Gaffs: I only used them when I was just a boy in a dress. I’ve graduated since then because practice makes perfect!
Tie-sides: I use tie-sides when I’m wearing sheer dresses because pantylines are a big fashion no-no. I have them in all the colors of the rainbow.
Shaper briefs: Itsy bitsy boy shorts I wear for day-to-day activities.
Update laser-cut full brief, $58 at La Perla