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We kick off week six of Project Runway with Heidi introducing the designers to the special models they'll be working with. Eleven real women, wearing eleven really ugly bridesmaids dresses. Heidi says that every bride claimed, "You can totally wear that again," to her bridesmaids, so Project Runway has decided to actually make that happen. The designers' assignment is to take these hideous dresses and use the fabrics to make great new ensembles. Despite being a producer of the show, who probably has some say in the choice of challenges, the obviously skeptical Heidi adds a cynical, "Good luck with that."
Last week's winner, Casanova, gets first pick, and turns a pale teal gown into motorcycle slacks and a slouchy top. Michael D gets the last pick of the models, and ends up with a large sized woman in a hideous pink dress, which he decides to throw lace at. Christopher's model gets nervous about being on the show and drops out immediately, so he gets a new model, who actually looks like a model. Ivy seems to show very little interest in her model or the project, because she is far too consumed with demonizing Michael C. She leads the other designers in criticizing his skills, his work, and his win. She even accuses him of trashing her to the general public during a special, pre-runway designer showcase. Ivy's hatred of Michael C is so extreme, it makes The Tea Party look like the Barack Obama Fan Club.
Joining judges Michael Kors and Nina Garcia is American designer Cynthia Rowley, who is there because she has a new line of bridesmaid dresses. Once again, we have a guest judge who gives smart critiques. It's almost enough to make us forget the LA season.
Our top three designers this week are Christopher, who turns a golden polyester lace gown into a fabulously draped gold mini dress; Mondo, who takes a Pepto Bismol pink dress, turns it inside out, adds some black and makes a fabulously fitted Mod dress; and Michael C, who, despite the witch hunt against both him and his dress, impresses the judges by taking a long black gown and turning it into a short elaborate mini. And the winner is...Michael C! It seems the judges haven't forgotten the bashing the designer received last week from his fellow teammates. We suspect that this might have partially influenced their decision—particularly as we thought his dress was one of this week's worst.
And speaking of worst, our bottom three designers are Peach, who takes a simple olive gown and turns it into Holly Hobby with peplums; Michael D, whose model's dress is actually more flattering before he remakes it; and Valerie, in her first trip to the bottom three, who turns a pink gown into a short dress which somehow makes her model's breasts look lopsided, too big and oddly placed. Heidi bids "auf Wiedersehen" to Peach, who leaves with one of the most gracious exit speeches in the history of the show. The lovely Peach will be missed, even if many of her designs will not.
And in our As Tears Go By count, Michael C cries when he wins, Valerie tries to hide her tears when she survives the bottom three, and Mondo and Michael D both cry when they learn Peach is leaving. These four, added to our previous total, brings the number of crying jags for the season to twenty.
Next Thursday is the Project Runway Fashion Week show. Looks like there will be seven decoy collections again. Join us—we'll be reporting on it!
And now for this week's Top Ten Moments of Project Runway Greatness...
10). In response to Tim's harsh words about her during the previous episode, Gretchen says, "I am not a manipulative person." Then Christopher pays her to let him paint a fence.
9). Michael D buys upholstery fabric at Mood, but we're pretty sure it's not an indication that he thinks his voluptuous model is built like a sofa.
8). Gretchen says she doesn't know what show she's on. Well, if they made the film Mean Girls into a series...
7). Tim tells the designers, "You can deliver good news to the models; They are each getting jewelry from the Piperlime website." Shockingly, the show doesn't spend five minutes focusing on it.
6). Michael Kors says, "Michael D took his model from bridesmaid to Bar Mitzvah." Isn't that a lyric from To Sir with Love?
5). Somewhere out there, Lord of the Flies' Piggy sees how the designers treat Michael C and thinks, "I got off easy."
4). Michael Kors says that Peach's dress makes her model look like she has, "An avocado goiter." We can't figure out how he equates napkin-like peplums at the hips with a lump in the neck.
3). During judging, when Heidi tells Valerie, "I really didn't hate it as much as everyone else did," Valerie's delighted, "Thank you," proves the existence of The Stockholm Syndrome.
2). Michael Kors thinks that Mondo has his model's hair and makeup styled, "Like a cross between Snooki and the Flintstones." We're guessing more Pebbles than Hopperoo.
1). Michael C tells the other contestants that the judges said, "So many good things, that I kinda forgot what they said. I'm just really happy they loved it." He somehow refrains from adding, "Take that bitches!"