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Last night on Bravo's the Fashion Show, four contestants were whittled down to three, with the winning team members each receiving new crossovers by Ford (Ford, like Saturn on Project Runway, just oozes fashion).
It came down to Calvin and Dominique representing Emerald and Jeffrey and Cesar representing Nami (Fun fact: Nami has one six of nine total showdowns; fun fact 2: Last night's was the last team challenge). Each contender had to create three complete looks and were to be inspired by earth, wind, water, a boat tour of the harbor and camera sponsorships.
Nami put together a more wearable collection in greens and blues while Emerald presented a high-concept runway show of avant-garde looks in black, white and camel. Judges—including special guests Gilles Mendel of J. Mendel and Glenda Bailey of Harper's Bazaar—went for high-concept avant-garde, granting Calvin and Dominique the keys to their new cars. Meanwhile, Jeffrey and Cesar were given 45 minutes to improve their weakest looks before judges used paper ballots (very Biggest Loser)—and no further discussion—to hold on to young Jeffrey and bid adieu to Cesar.
And now, our top ten moments from episode 9:
10.) Did anyone notice that all the models walked into the fitting wearing black hot pants?
9.) Isaac Mizrahi's spectators and pink socks. Love.
8.) And the way he pronounces sarong.
7.) Two new reasons to not like Dominique: Her anti-hometown diatribe about all her loser ex-friends who go to community college; and her statement that her "designs are quiet but not unheard." If she wasn't so young we'd check her résumé for work on those early, overly-Buddhist Infiniti commercials. And then not hire her anyway.
6.) Jeffrey kind of blew it in terms of his free New York Vintage accessory prize. It was a crown. It didn't work in the show. Per Isaac: "And tell us about the tiara—it really doesn't work."
5.) Cesar on Jeffrey: "We're like sisters!"
4.) So, Calvin got like all into his culture last night, talking about Feng Shui and what colors represent what where and spirits and "the lord" and, to accompany his often-nonsensical ramblings, he started doing all these strange, flaccid karate chops and ninja posings. The vibe? A Gaysian version of Mack from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
3.) He also said "I love me" and, later, "I won a big car!"
2.) Let's just talk about Emerald's show, shall we? Calvin presented a pregnant look (Isaac: "It doesn't look pregnant, it looks like malignant," and "I don't like it enough to hate it;" Glenda: "It's cliché. It looks like an ad for back pain medication."); Dominique presented a homeless look; the models were shoeless (Glenda: "I'm curious to know if the models look so miserable because they've lost their shoes."); the make-up was white; the runway covered in faux-snow; the models were coached to walk ultra-slow; the music: Wind and tribal chanting—and they won.
1.) The mid-commercial interlude was genius: A montage of Isaac's arcane and idiosyncratic sub-pop culture references and the contestants pretending to have some idea what he was talking about. The most mainstream mentions: Irving Penn and Madame Bovary. Remember, this is the man who based an entire collection on Nanook of the North!
Bonus: Mary J. Blige is somehow involved in the next new episode!