Racked is no longer publishing. Thank you to everyone who read our work over the years. The archives will remain available here; for new stories, head over to Vox.com, where our staff is covering consumer culture for The Goods by Vox. You can also see what we’re up to by signing up here.
With Halloween spirit in the air and the craving for 80's nostalgia on our minds, we decided to re-live Teen Wolf-for-the-girls counterpart and bad/spooky movie roster staple, Teen Witch. Although the film flopped in at its release in 1989, it has since gained a cult following and a personal soft-spot in our hearts for its terrible plot, hilarious sing-alongs, and 80's-tastic styling (which is making a come-back in a street style pose near you). The film features Halloween favorites Zelda Rubenstein (Poltergeist) and Dick Sargent (Bewitched) as well as stars Blake Lively's older sister, Robyn. If you don't feel like sitting through 90 minutes of nerdy angst and unprovoked g-rated nudity, just check out our list of six of the film's best features:
1. Top That (above): One of the films most famous scenes, "Top That" is a stylized rap battle between funky, rapping, stank-face sporting, Rhet Capaletti and his admirer, nerdy best friend to the nerdy main character and bucket hat aficionado, Polly. This scene is also a favorite re-enactment past-time for many fans, including ourselves. If you think you will never be hip or get the urge to run around town bragging "I'm hot, and you're not" then get their looks from the collage after the jump.
1. American Apparel jersey leisure shirt, $32 at American Apparel; 2. Lacoste classic pleated tennis skirt, $75 at Lacoste; 3. Alexis Bittar “Otto” statement pendant, $325 at Nordstrom; 4. Adidas “Forum Mid” sneakers, $150 at PickYourShoes.com; 5. Reyn Spooner for Opening Ceremony barrier reef shirt, $130 at Opening Ceremony; 6. PRPS “Dart” jean, $214 at Bluefly; 7. BCBG shawl lapel vest, $85 at Bluefly; 8. Trafalgar Concord suspenders, $80 at Barneys.
2. Madame Serena (Zelda Rubinstein): Zelda Rubinstein's creepy voice, tiny stature and ability to look mystic, no matter what she was wearing made her a main-stay in movies of the 80's and 90's. In Teen Witch, she bounces around making sexual innuendos and induces unintentional hilarity by sitting in the laps of cast mates half her age. Zelda Rubinstein style is so-right-now since flatforms (a constant on her tiny little feet) and burnout velvet are making a major comeback. She is dearly missed.
1. Silver metallic turban, $21 at ASOS; 2. Stefen Schraut stone/feather brooch, $70 at Stylebop; 3. Alice and Olivia “Luca” dress, $396 at Alice and Olivia; 4. Mali Sabatasso shell necklace, $170 at Max & Chloe; 5. Vena Cava “Pager” dress, $385 at Shop Bop; 6. Jeffery Campbell “Suebee” flatforms, $134 at Solestruck; 7. Catarzi pillbox hat, $49 at ASOS; 8. Winter Kate silk burnout jacket, $290 at MyWardrobe.com; 9. Edun seam maxi skirt, $350 at SSENSE.
3. Shana: What's cooler than a rock star? Answer—a fake 80's rock star that is a cross between Selena and Madonna, also goes by just one name, and selflessly gives her lucky jacket to nerdy teenagers in need. Shana epitomizes cool in the film, as is her purpose (just try not to put your backstage pass in the center of your chest like a loser when you meet her). Not to mention her song, Never Gonna Be the Same Again (actually sung by Lori Russo) will actually change your life, because it will be stuck in your head through Halloween. Also—sax solos are making a come back.
1. Sexy Hair Concepts big sexy hair spray, $14 at Drugstore.com; 2. ACE Barber teasing comb, $3 at Buy.com; 3. Alice and Olivia spray paint “Everleigh” tunic, $297 at Alice and Olivia; 4. Betsey Johnson “Shake Your Groove Thing” dress, $212 at Bluefly; 5. Sam Edelman “Uma” lace up boot, $358 at MyWardrobe; 6. Current/Elliot denim studded vest, $384 at FarFetch; 7. Faux leather dress, $39 at H&M.
4. Most Popular Girl/Essential Cool Montage: Everyone's greatest dream (man or woman) is to ultimately be the most popular girl, so this how-to-get-the-look is key. It wouldn't be a movie made in that decade if it didn't include a goofy, triumphant, montage with plenty of wardrobe changes. Although Louise casts a spell for her super-popularity, we have some items below that might get you there, too. There will be parades of slow moving vehicles overflowing with terrible dancing and, of course, rapping, following you down the street in no time (even if we can't find a rad Hawaiian shirt like the one she wears there).
1. Lace flippy dress, $98 at Topshop; Solid socks, $4 at Nordstrom; 3. Salvatore Ferragamo patent kitten heels, $460 at Stylebop; 4. Ray-Ban classic wayfarers, $145 at Nordstrom; 5. Tie neck blouse, $59 at Charles Tyrwhitt; 6. Herve Leger band skirt, $240 at The Outnet; 7. Purminerals blush brush, $16 at Zappos; 8. Proenza Schouler striped henley, $390 at Barneys; 9. Firelight skirt, $98 at Anthropologie.
5. Richie Miller: Richie may be the best thing about Teen Witch. Although he does not dress cool, really at all (save, the tuxedo t-shirt), there is no way we would leave his awesomeness off of this list. Although, we do appreciate his commitment to costumes throughout the film, from his bell hop get-up to his Eat Your Heart Out apron in the "canine curse" scene, drippy food is actually his best and most consistent accessory. One thing he does have going for him, which can't be bought, is his voice, which reminds us a lot of a Katherine Hepburn impression. "No one's coming to your Sweet 16 pa-a-a-arty, Louise!" In the spirit of Halloween, we leave you, not with style, but with the "Is Richie on Drugs?" scene from the film—featuring multiple horrifying facial expressions from the aforementioned that will be sure to haunt your dreams to come.—Payton Wang