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It's all lead up to this: Last night's Rachel Zoe Project was all about the baby and his big television debut. His name is Skyler, and he is small, and he looks like a baby. And god bless the little tyke—but we can't help but be a little miffed at him for keeping Rachel Zoe from her fair share of camera time this season (and especially last night—there weren't enough Rachel quotes for our top ten!)
We enjoy Rodger—he seems like good times. But he does not make for great TV. And the girls Rachel employs? They're not even interesting enough to warrant remembering their names. We're left with Joey, who just sucks; and Jeremiah, who, like an abused puppy with impossibly tall hair and entirely too much time on its hands, just keeps coming back for more.
Anywhatever: Packing for the hospital involved Chanel and Halston and insanely high-heeled thigh-high boots. Jeremiah had a whinefest—and then came over to help finish the nursery. Joey got his big break: He got to fly to New York to style Molly Sims for some B-List thing (Interesting: his brother is also gay (or at least makes Bea Arthur jokes)) and she didn't love Joey's options. Rodger tried hiring a videographer to memorialize the birth and Rachel, quite reasonably, flipped out. Nonetheless, Rodger buys her a 10-carat diamond ring as a push gift.
10.) Being pregnant: "It's such an unglamorous experience."
9.) But: "If I'm going to be a mess—it can be a glamorous mess!"
8.) Rachel, you should wear sweats to the hospital. "Well, I don't have sweats."
7.) When Rodger suggests filming the birth her retort: "Can I film your colonoscopy?"
6.) That was followed by a whole raged-out, machine gun-fast diatribe that ended with a genuinely sweet sounding "Bye, Honey." Click.
5.) "Shhhhhhht!" Aka, stop filming me with you phone—my water just broke.
4.) Rache's birth-giving horror scenario involves "pulling Rodger's arm out of the socket."
3.) You know, "just like in the movies."
2.) She can't believe how much she loves Skyler. "And he hasn't even spoken yet!"
1.) And, that's really about it. There was no number 1. So, we're giving Skyler's Gucci and All Saints packed wardrobe the top spot.
· The Rachel Zoe Project [Bravo]