Iris Apfel Hates Stretch Jeans, Lindsay Lohan, Knowing If Her Painting Is a Real Velazquez

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90-year-old style icon Iris Apfel did an interview with The Telegraph, and it's so chock-full of insane quotes that we hardly know where to start. Much of the interview reads like an annotated list of stuff Apfel can't stand. Among those things:

·Lindsay Lohan

The starlet once asked Apfel to be her style advisor, but Apfel says "I can't tell people how to have style. No amount of money can buy you style. It's just instinctive."

·Fat people on Fifth Avenue

"Now when I walk down Fifth Avenue in the summertime I just want to throw up. It seems that the fatter and uglier people are, the fewer clothes they wear. The shorts and flip-flops and tight jeans on butts that go from here to Poughkeepsie. I always say they should put people in jail for wearing clothes like that. Especially stretch jeans over size 10 [a UK size 14] - they should be outlawed."

·The people she used to work with at WWD

"I was a copy girl and I made the magnificent sum of $15 a week. Eventually I worked out that I would never get anywhere there. All the women who worked there were middle-aged and I said to myself, "They're too old to have babies and go on maternity leave and too young to die, so you'd better get your butt out of here."

·Weather

The interviewer writes: "When we finally seem to have a firm date and I arrive in New York she makes me ring her at two-hour intervals throughout the day, pushing the time later and later. Finally, at 6pm, she says that she cannot meet me 'because the weather is so disgusting'.

This argument is somewhat illogical as she has no plans to leave her apartment anyway, and fortunately she relents when I tell her I am not going to be back in New York for a while."

·Potentially owning a Velazquez painting

"I don't want to find out if it's really a Velazquez because then I'll just be nervous about it."

·Small jewelry

"Understated jewellery is not for me. It's too itsy-bitsy."

·Oscar fashion

"At the Golden Globes and Oscars they all look alike - it seems like they're all wearing the same nightgown and this year nobody had any jewellery at all. Only Helen Mirren was wearing a beautiful necklace, but even she got it wrong because the necklace just ruined the dress. I think the designer must have wanted to kill himself when he saw her."
· New York Doll: An Interview with the Socialite Iris Apfel [Telegraph]
· Iris Apfel Is Getting a Fashion Film [Racked]