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Your undereye circles are something fierce. Skip mascara on the bottom lashes (it draws attention to the spot, which you don't want right now) and de-puff with this rollerball instead.
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Many people get redface when they've been drinking--it's caused by bursting blood vessels in the face. A green-tinted moisturizer helps balance out the color.
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With those dark circles, concealer is a must. This one is also moisturizing, because your skin is probably just as dehydrated as you are.
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Speaking of dehydration, one of the places you'll feel that dryness the worst is on your mouth. Hydrate them and add a little bit of color so you don't look washed out.
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If you haven't had time to shower, this fragrance will make it smell like you did. The simple but refreshing scent is also not likely to set off your puke-o-meter.
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If you haven't showered, this dry shampoo will get the grease out of your hair without making it look like you've suddenly gone gray.
Blow Pro: $20 -
There's no real proof behind this, but it seems like spritzing something on your hungover face always makes you feel more alert somehow.
Caudalie: $16 -
When all else fails, put on the brightest pink lipstick you can find and try to distract everybody.
MAC: $14.50