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You know Frank—he's been writing about menswear, sales, television, new shops, the recession, Lisa Loeb, the Golden Girls and getting blasted for Racked for over a year. Well, we think it's time you got to know him and his quirky-irreverent views on life and fashion even better with his brand new column: Love, Frank. Taking the form of an open letter and always signed with love, Frank will rant about whatever style-related conundrum he encounters in a given week. So buckle your two-toned leather Moschino belts, folks, it's going to be ? Something.
Image via Racked New York
Dear Partners in Fashion Week Madness,
We've been doing this for awhile now—we thought we'd share some tips.
It's February. We know you want to wear your craziest shoes—but it's cold and wet and this winter has been a nightmare. Plus you're going to be on your feet all day, and Lincoln Center is a hell of a lot further away from Milk Studios than Bryant Park is. Just don't be above being sensible—ruining your craziest shoes is a lot worse than just showing up wearing closed-toes shoes with a shred of support and traction.
Speaking of cold and wet—we know tits are always in style. And deep v-necks and open henleys are happening. And bare legs are sexy. But it's the dead of winter. Don't be a fool.
Do be prepared to subsist on giveaway blended coffee beverages, free diet sodas, vodka, champagne and a very light smattering of assorted appetizers—miniature grilled cheeses, crabcakes and the vaguely-Asian prove especially popular.
Which brings us to gum. Please pack gum. Long days. Close Quarters. Coffee. Crabcakes. Even if you manage those crazy shoes in the snow you might as well not show up if you're sporting dragon breath.
Get a haircut. Get your roots touched up. Shave, trim or pluck what ought to be shaved, trimmed or plucked.
You may be the type of person who plans out outfits ahead of time. Or some sort of minimalist who thinks grabbing one black something and another black something from the closet makes an outfit. Whatever—the morning of is always a crap shoot. Things don't come together the way you'd hoped. Something's wrinkled. Something else is the wrong shade of gray. The weather isn't what you were expecting. Basically, you need options: Pick up your dry cleaning. If you haven't dropped off your dry cleaning, drop off your dry cleaning. Do your laundry. Do all of your laundry.
Less is more. Not in terms of accessories or layers or print—in those cases we think more is more. What we're saying is—carry less. Less to check, less to haul, less to bumper car through crowded spaces with, less to shove under those tiny folding seats.
That said—tissues. Extra batteries. You don't want to find your batteries are dead as soon as the lights go down and the models start up. Gum—we can't stress this enough. Don't forget your Blackberry (or iPhone)—if you have no-one to talk to you can at least fondle your cell.
Finally, be prepared to share close quarters with some really horrible people. Big attitudes are one thing—some people deserve to have big attitudes. We're referring to what one of our friends refers to as the "sycophantic hangers-on." You know the type: Self-seeking, servile flatterers and fawning parasites wearing their sunglasses inside and at night whilst bragging about gift bags and psycho-tweeting. They RSVP to every forward that comes their way, never miss a free drink and never put down their phones. They're the worst thing about Fashion Week—but we'll get through them together.
Good luck, friends—see you at the shows.
· Love, Frank [RNA]