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As The Oprah Winfrey Show draws to a close, the star has been celebrating with an amazing array of guests. (We're still still shocked by J. K. Rowling's Oprah admission that she still worries about money!). Today's episode is billed as "Oprah's Last-Ever Makeover Extravaganza" and her "dream team" of experts will include Michael Kors, Diane von Furstenberg, and Tory Burch. Unfortunately we won't be in her studio audience, getting what is sure to be a lot of cool loot, but we'll be liveblogging it here beginning at 4 p.m. ET.
4:00PM: It's starting—the tenth and last show ever. The preview is showing people with hair and beard issues. Okay, here we go...
4:02: Oprah says that every single person in the audience has already gotten a makeover! "Hair, make up, new outfits, the works." Truth be told, we aren't loving the clothing. But then again, we probably own too much black.
4:03: Oprah introduces dream team number one: Michael Kors, "one of the most important American designers of the past two decades," make up artist Bobbi Brown, and hair stylist Orlando Pita.
4:04: The first dream team will be making over four female Chicago police officers. They can't wear long nails or any jewelry aside from their wedding rings on the job. Then the women model their uniforms. Not flattering. The women are pretty, but need work. One officer says her friend, another officer, cuts her hair for her every nine to ten months. Yikes! Another says her make up routine is Chapstick. The officers ask for Oprah's help.
4:10: We now see the audience getting their makeovers. Hair Guru Frederic Fekkai and his team work on their hair, and Bobbi Brown does their make up (we flash back to the worst hair cut we ever had, at the Fekkai salon). The audience then all get outfits from Old Navy. 332 makeovers—the biggest in Oprah show history!
4:13: Chicago's finest turn in their polyester blues for slinky evening ensembles. Oprah says they would not be able to identify themselves in a line up. Michael says you must decide what body part to focus on.
One woman, Connie, in a champagne dress, has fabulous legs which Kors says "must" be shown. Kors says "Sexy can be comfortable." The next officer, Lisa, is more sporty—she is given navy sequin track pants, which we love, aside from the baggy thighs. Michael then introduces his new jewelry collection. It looks pretty basic, which is typical for Kors.
The third cop, Angela likes earth tones so she is now dressed in a cute green one-shoulder number, and is described as the team's own "Beyonce," because of the way she poses. The final officer is wearing a short bronze dress, the less said about it, the better.
4:17: Bobbi says that working outside means the officers' skin has taken a bit of a beating, so they need to moisturize (we walk a lot outside in New York, we get that). Orlando doesn't have much to say about their hair. He mostly just sits there looking pretty.
4:20: We see reviews of old makeovers including that one guy with the really long gray hair. His makeover was fabulous. Ironically, he's now bald! We wonder if he misses his old hair. Another former makeover, this time a woman with long hair, said that since she had her makeover and gave up her long hair, she also gave up drinking... Good for her.
4:22: One viewer, Chantelle, a nurse from NJ, wrote in to say she bought a pair of Oprah's old shoes at Oprah's store (the money goes to charity). She said her dream was to visit Oprah's real closet and own a pair of her red-soled Louboutin shoes. Oprah flew Chantelle back to Chicago, supposedly for an interview with someone at the store, but of course, Oprah herself ambushed her there! Oprah invites Chantelle back to her home to see her reals closet. We suspect Chantelle must have guessed this was coming. How could she not?
4:24: Oprah walks her through her closet. We see shelf after shelf of cashmere sweaters in every color. Damn we want Oprah's closet. And everything in it. No Old Navy here. Ooh look, there is a dress Oprah wore to meet the Obamas. Chantelle coyly asks Oprah "What do you think I would look good in?" Oh Chantelle you minx!
4:26: Oprah takes Chantelle into the NEXT room of her closet, because of course Oprah's closet consists of many rooms, and there is a woman holding a tray with a gold pair of Louboutins on it. Chantelle and Oprah toast with apple cider.
4:27 We are told that Oprah's hair stylist, Andre Walker, make up stylist and clothing stylist, have been making over Chantelle for the past three days. Three days? She looked good to begin with. We're not sure what could take three days. Chantelle comes out and wow! She's in a long blue Lanvin gown which hides her pregnancy (aka the cider). Oprah pretends to be annoyed that her dress was given away. We are then told that Andre, who makes and sells his own conditioner, puts in some extra hair "that's some damn good conditioner that makes the hair grow," says Oprah. Indeed.
4:30: Dream Team Three is introduced (Dream Team Two were Oprah's own people). DVF is there. Joining her is hair stylist Ken Paves, and make up artist Collier Strong from L'Oreal. Our next victim? I mean make-overee, is named Kara from Flagstaff Arizona, who has long, wild, crazy curly hair, which we sympathize with.
Kara's makeover was suggested by her friend Hope, who is either the worst or the best friend ever. We are shown Kara's hair products shelves, MANY of them, called, "hair central," something that all curly girls can relate to. Kara is a teacher, and supposedly students throw things in her hair, and she doesn't find them for days. Kara sometimes wears masking tape for ponytails. Kara's clothes are also pretty awful, one piece is described as "A Cosby Sweater." And it is one.
4:33: Ambush! Kara is surprised in her home with the news that she is going to the Oprah show. We can't tell if Kara is actually surprised or if she is faking it. Either way, she is happy.
4:34: DVF decided that Kara's friend Hope deserved a make over too. Neither have seen each other since. And here they are! Kara and Oprah are both looking very DVF in bright colors with bold print scarves. Kara's hair is a gorgeous shiny bob, "I bounce" she says. DVF says when you do a makeover, you should keep the people as themselves, but a "more glamorous version of themselves." Ken says "less is more" when it comes to hair, and Collier says that since Kara is a mom her look has to be done quickly, and the one transformative product that every woman should use is lipstick. Bravo Dream Team Four! The best makeovers yet!
4:41: Time for another makeover: Oprah introduces Dream Team Four, designer Tory Burch, hairstylist Sally Hershberger, whose clients pay up $800 for shag cuts that make all her clients look like Meg Ryan in her pre-John Mellencamp days, and make up artist Berta Camal. Their task is to make over river guide and mother, Kate. Kate's clothing is chosen based on practicality. Kate has a collection of hideous hats, which she wears all the time. Her make-up bag, a plastic baggy, includes two eye shadows and a dried out mascara, which she won't use, because it's too old. Kate has recently moved out of the mountains and into a city. One of her new city friends describes her look as "earthy/pajama-y" on national television. We think Kate should look for different new friends.
4:44: Reveal! Kate now looks kind of like a prettier Maria Shriver. Tory has dressed her in white slacks and a cute blue and white sleeveless top. Sally cut layers (Shocking!) into Kate's hair. And Berta gave her a tinted moisturizer and some bronzer which she can use on her eyes too. That ought to keep the number of products in her baggy down.
4:46: We track down another of Oprah's former makeovers, "The Caveman," aka a bearded guy who looked like Survivor's Rupert. After his original makeover, he looked hot. So how does he look now, three years later? Uh oh! Back to the beard. It's time for another makeover, this time with groomer to Hollywood hunks, Diana Schmidtke. Voila! He looks good again, and is allowed to keep a little beard! He claims this time, he'll keep it up. We're skeptical.
4:48: Now Oprah talks to all the designers. Michael Kors says that the best compliment to a woman is "Oh you look amazing," which is only then followed by, "I love what you're wearing."
Then DVF says makeovers are really about confidence and making the best of who you are. We totally agree. Finally, Oprah asks Tory about the worst fashion mistakes women make. Tory thinks that would be following trends to literally and not being aware enough of one's body or one's age. We pretend we don't hear what she said.
4:50: Pre-filmed clips of Nate Berkus and the Black Eyed Peas, Fergie and Will.i.am saying their "Good byes" to Oprah and talking about what a loss it will be for the world. For a moment we feared Oprah was dying. Nope, she's fine.
453: Oprah thanks her audience for their help in pulling off the biggest makeover extravaganza, ever. She then tells them that they are not going home empty-handed. The crowd goes wild before they even know what they are getting. Kors gives them each a stylish leather purse, DVF is giving the audience scarves, and Tory has brought them sunglasses. Oprah's stylist, Andre Walker gives them deep conditioners and $25 gift cards to shop with on his website. The crowd goes wild. Not as wild as they'd go if they were getting free cars or going to Australia, but fairly wild.
4:57: For everyone watching at home, Old Navy is giving 50% off for one item at any Old Navy store! Just go to Oprah.com for the coupon and info.