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Frank Devours, Digests, and Reckons With the Fall Ad Campaigns

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You know Frank—he's been writing about menswear, sales, television, new shops, the recession, Lisa Loeb, the Golden Girls and getting blasted for Racked for almost two years. Well, we think it's time you got to know him and his quirky-irreverent views on life and fashion even better with his column: Love, Frank. Taking the form of an open letter and always signed with love, Frank will rant about whatever style-related conundrum he encounters in a given week. So buckle your two-toned leather Moschino belts, folks, it's going to be ? Something.

A Miu Miu pizza party, via Fashion Gone Rogue

Dear Fellow Fashion Trolls,

We, as people who gorge on both fashion gossip and designer clothing as if either provides actual nourishment, look to the September campaigns with the awe, wonder and anticipation that normal human people might reserve for politics or sports or Dancing With the Stars (Yuck: Kirstie Alley).

The geniuses at the Cut have realized this and we owe them a collective thank you for publishing a constantly-updated slideshow of scanned and screenshotted mag ads. Actually, it’s a lot like their the Michelle Obama Lookbook, which—as far as we’re concerned—is still interesting and still indispensible.

(We’re loving that she’s added Marc Jacobs and Doro Olowu to her roster.)

Anyway, the post is called See Fall 2011’s Ad Campaigns, it went live late last month, and, what can we say? We’re obsessed.

The album currently features 112 slides from over 70 various labels spanning womenswear, menswear, denim, eyewear, what have you. Fun fact: Approximately a half dozen of those various labels are devoted to different, diffusive iterational whatevers by Hugo Boss—who knew?

Either way, it’s pretty fantastic to see them all at once; and it’s great for getting a quick, sort of flipbook-style view of who is pushing what and what trends are where—in terms of the clothes but also the models, the styling, the mood. Obviously, we have a litany of questions:

Why is Tobey Maguire modeling Prada (slide 94)? And why does that Prada look like it’s from Kohl’s? Why oh why would Tom Ford have picked someone so—how should we put this—insanely homosexual looking in his menswear ad (slide 2)? Was Moschino channeling the "Like a Virgin" video (slide 7)? Was Gucci channeling a jewel-toned "Criminal" (slide 4)? Are the Hugo Boss Orange vignettes (slide 16) a rip of Tommy Hilfiger’s ongoing portraits of quirk and class (still happening, slide 106)?

And notes:

Iceberg (slide 24) and Calvin Klein (104) would like to invite you to the ‘80s—in not such a good way. Alexander Wang is still cooler than you—his ad features Santigold and Spankrock (slide 20). And his ‘80s looks awesome (even if his clothes don’t). Karl Lagerfeld may have officially lost it (slide 62); likewise the branding experts behind Mulberry’s surrealist naturescape nightmare (slide 57). And H by Halston apparently missed the swimwear boat a few months ago but they’re just going with it anyway (slide 73).

Also: We want to be photographed with a swan sitting on our lap (slide 9), and we could really go for some pizza (slide 51).

Finally, our favs: Balenciaga (slide 42) and Lanvin (slide 105); our least fav: Versace’s Bjork’s swan dress hits the "Frozen" clip redux (slide 27). We’d just also like to admit to being totally ignorant of some of the collections you maybe can’t buy stateside. But who the hell is Frankie Morello because those ads are good times and we want in (slide 109). Likewise Siviglia (slide 78) and Pinko (slide 112)—the ignorance, not so much the wanting in.

Long story short: Thanks the Cut! Keep ‘em coming!

· Love, Frank [Racked]