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A Whole Foods employee in Toronto did the stuff of dreams, and sent the resignation letter to end all resignation letters to the entire company on Friday. The letter is a two-parter, and begins with a play-by-play of Whole Food's "philosophies," accompanied, of course, with commentary. The real gems, though, are the paragraphs dedicated to specific—and redacted—employees. One of which begins: "Stop being such a cowardly weiner [sic], hiding behind your emails and that awful hallway grin."
And in response to store walk-throughs: "Do you guys realize that the store NEVER looks as good as it does when you arrive? When word spreads that you're coming to inspect the store almost every team leader begins running around like Brampton teens on PCP."
And here's another stinger:
Dear [REDACTED],
I don't think you could calm down enough and become a happy, tolerable person if you were to do yoga in a hot spring while high on ecstasy. Daily. For the rest of your life. Just wouldn't happen. I haven't met a single person working under you or who has worked under you who doesn't loath the way you treat people. Your job doesn't matter AT ALL. Get over it, relax and start treating people with a shred of respect. Chances are, you'll improve a lot of lives. Possibly even your own. I do have a suspicion that you're a sociopath though. Especially now, after seeing your reaction to you-know-who's hospital visit. If that is the case, this was futile. May I suggest some acting classes? You're not very good at pretending to be a complete, emotional, sincere human being.
· Read a Disgruntled Whole Foods Employee’s Epic Resignation Letter [Gawker]