EXCLUSIVE: Daria Morgendorffer's Greatest Retail Regret, Plus a Brand-New Original Never-Before-Seen Daria Portrait

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Comedy writer Bonnie Datt once bought a chainmail vest "for clubbing"—a purchase she later came to lament, once she realized that chainmail isn't particularly slimming. Inspired by this, she now spends her spare time asking famous people to dish about purchases which they initially loved—but ended up regretting, for Buyer's Remorse.

Ever since Daria Morgendorffer's brilliant Daria TV show went off the air, she's been keeping a very low profile. But remembering her cynical perspective on her sister Quinn's fashionista tendencies, we at Racked have been wondering if Daria has ever had any of her own shopping issues—particularly buyer's remorse. So we contacted Glenn Eichler, the co-creator of Daria's show, to help us find out. Glenn was kind enough to track down the reclusive Daria—and she had a lot to say. So, without further ado, here is Daria, making her first public statement in many years.

Racked: Daria could you tell us about the time you had buyer's Remorse?

Daria Morgendorffer: I was up at 2 a.m. one night watching a "Swamp Loggers" marathon—I had missed a couple of episodes and I was anxious to catch up on the character development—when I saw a commercial that could have been made just for me. It was for something called Forever Lazy, a shapeless, fuzzy jumpsuit thingy that the ad described as "the one-piece lie-around, lounge-around full-body lazy-wear," and I thought to myself, anything incorporating that many hyphens must be a quality product. It looked like a cross between a baby blanket and a hazmat suit, and I believed that I had finally found a garment with lounging standards as ambitious as my own.

I ordered a navy blue one, because a baggy fleece jumpsuit in pink might look silly. But when the Forever Lazy arrived and I climbed inside, I was dismayed to find that, though I cinched the built-in hoodie as tight as I could, enough of my face still peeked through to tip my family off that it was me in there. Without camouflage properties, this thing was no good to me. Nor were the matching fleece footies. Nor were the second Forever Lazy and second pair of matching fleece footies they had sent because I had acted now, absolutely free of charge, just pay the additional shipping and handling.

Madison Avenue, your nefarious ways have claimed another victim. If anyone knows of a one-piece lie-around, lounge-around full-body lazy-wear product that comes with 60 Minutes Mafioso Interview facial prosthetics, get in touch.

Special thanks to Karen Disher for creating the original artwork, Anne D. Bernstein for making the introduction, MTV for letting us run this, and most of all comedy writer Glenn Eichler for his help in making this happen and for his brilliance in giving Daria her voice again.
· All Buyer's Remorse Posts [Racked]
· MTV-Daria [Official Site]
· Daria The Complete Animated Series [Amazon]