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Episode 3 Recap: A Kardashian Descends

Come again?
Come again?

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Last night Kim Kardashian brought her special brand of disinterested uninterestingness to the third episode of the Rachel Zoe Project, season 4. Such a huge deal was this event—an appearance from this curvier version of Paris Hilton, minus the miniature inkling of personality—that Bravo aired the episode three times. In a row. So, anyone who cares even a little about the show probably had the chance to catch it. All that said: There wasn't a whole lot to catch.

Let's see: Joey moved out to Los Angeles; newbie Jeremiah is decorating the new house; there was a last minute video shoot with Double K that Joey was excited to assist on; and sister Zoe comes out for a visit and forces Rachel and Rodger to go see a doula.

(A doula is a person who, like, does pregnancy stuff or something.)

10.) "You wear boy shorts because it's more than underwear. But, you're not wearing pants." Oh.

9.) "I couldn't actually be pregnant without my team." Which is true of all pregnant women.

8.) The key to pulling clothes for a Rachel Zoe shoot: "Over-pull!"

7.) Though this isn't something she ever really should need to worry about: "I don't wanna be Big Momma."

6.) She finally admitted why she hired Jeremiah: "Cute helped!"

5.) To the colleague who booked the last minute Kardashian shoot: "You're the best and I love you and I hate you."

4.) "If i'm gonna start watching videos [of and about popping out kids], I'm literally not going to give birth."

3.) When Joey asked her if she was going to have the baby the traditional, errr, vaginal way; she blinked a lot then: "I mean, that's the plan."

2.) To Rodger, and all bitchy spouses: "Well, i'm just a better wife than you are a husband."

1.) Likewise: "You've been a cranky-assed bitch!"

· The Rachel Zoe Project [Bravo]