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Project Runway Episode 9 Recap: A Musical Menswear Challenge

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Remember last week, when Heidi Klum fooled the designers into thinking that they were going to have to design for male clients, but then, to their relief, Tim Gunn revealed that they were actually designing clothing for the men's wives? Well, their sighs of relief were a bit premature, because this week is actually a menswear challenge. Their clients are an unsigned band, The Sheepdogs, who won a contest to be on the cover of Rolling Stone. Our designers must create looks for the various band members. The winning look will be featured in Rolling Stone, worn at a live Rolling Stone event and, in the ultimate rock and roll gesture, be featured in an advertorial in Marie Claire.

For the 3,743rd time this season, our designers are divided into teams, because team challenges have been such a positive experience for them so far. We have Team Harmony, so named, because Anya was hoping that for once they would be, with Anya, Olivier, Kimberly and Joshua; and team Untitled, so named because, well...with Bert, Laura, Anthony Ryan and Viktor. Laura spends $150 more at Mood than she was allotted, but luckily, her teammate Bert, who was $150 under budget, gives her his extra money. Laura thanks Bert by trashing him in every talking head she does for the rest of the episode. Anya and Kimberly have never made menswear before, and rightfully panic. And Olivier, who last week kept complaining that he doesn't like clients with breasts, spends this entire episode complaining that his musician client, the band's lead singer, is "Too size...and bigger than his mannequin"—all to his client's face. Perhaps Olivier should start designing for children. Who don't speak English.

Our regular judges Michael Kors and Nina Garcia are joined by yet another non-designer guest judge, but for once, there will be no complaints from us. It's singer and fellow reality star, Adam Lambert! Adam understands that musicians should have their own style and he's quite outspoken about it. The highlight of Adam's visit, however, is the obvious chemistry between him and Joshua. Hopefully, for Joshua's sake, if the two ever pursue something, Adam will not have seen Joshua's blow up on the HP Intel print challenge earlier this season. Or if he has, that he likes drama queens.

Our top designers this week include Bert, who throws a Hail Mary pass, and ends up with striped pants and a tie dyed maternity top for the band's singer; Joshua who does some very interesting layering of looks and Viktor who creates fitted pants, a floral print shirt, and a well fitting fringe pleather jacket. Personally, we've had a bias towards the wide fringes that come from fake leather garments ever since our mom bought us a velveteen one when we were three. That said, Viktor's is one of the only ensembles that was good enough not to humiliate the band, and the judges pick it as their winner for the week.

Our bottom three include menswear novices Anya, whose Pocahontas top is paired with pants which rip on their back seam; and Kimberly, whose tunic looks like something Fred Flintstone would wear. Joining them in the bottom is Olivier, who is supposedly a menswear designer, but barely manages to complete a dull western top and slacks#8212;although does manage to repeatedly insult his client. Although Olivier's outfit wasn't the worst, Heidi bids him "auf Wiedersehen." Happily he can now go back to designing for non-living clients.

And now for the Top Ten Moments of Project Runway Greatness...

10. The clerk at Mood tells Joshua, "Take your time." Take your time? Has the staff of Mood never seen Project Runway?

9. Anya declares, "I've created a garment which is ill fitted and poorly designed," but fails to add, "I've never done that before."

8. Heidi tells the designers, "Fashion Week is not at your fingertips quite yet." Actually it is, since all of these designers, plus Bryce, presented either real or decoy collections in the tents.

7. Bert muses, "Being that the band is from Canada I don't see them in dashikis." Being that Anya can't make one properly, neither do we.

6. Heidi does metal hands and a stuck out tongue shadow behind the screen. She's just like Gene Simmons but with a less scripted reality show.

5. Anya said that the concept was a modernized Jimmy Hendrix. Yeah, if Jimmy Hendrix bought his clothing at a Halloween costume shop.

4. Bert says he experienced the Seventies firsthand. The 1770s.

3. It took more than thirty years for R.E.M. to split up. If The Sheepdogs have to dress like this again, they'll be lucky if they make thirty more days.

2. Heidi says that Kimberly's look looked like it was, "Stuck in the Seventies." Specifically like a Seventies Hanna-Barbera cartoon.

1. Laura says, "I think from The Sheepdogs' music they're going to be a huge success." We think from their new wardrobes, they will not.

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