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Last night, on the fourth episode of Bravo's It's a Brad, Brad World, Brad Goreski flew to Alabama to spend a weekend previewing and partying with Billy Reid in his home court. Besides all the way-down-south southern food and sweating and lake party swimming and a whole bunch of "Alfalfa"-inspired outfits and the requisite there-are-cameras-following-us Main Street, USA shenanigans (a store called Guns and Such, a pharmacy with candy-colored walkers and biblical coloring books, some sort of clothing store where Brad bought an acid wash denim trench); Brad found an office space! A swanky high-rise studio with big views and big windows and a pretty big pricetag.
Otherwise, Brad fought with Gary over their anniversary party plans (in front of new assistant Lindsay—awkward) before Gary escaped to the Hamptons (he's on hiatus); filmed some live stream style-critiquing some-such with Ashton Kutcher, and—while in Alabama, dripping in madras Americana—shot a little style video thingum for some total hipster who didn't think summer in the south would be quite so hot.
One final note: Lindsay is a laughably bad driver.
10. Walking into a palm frond on his front porch: "It's a jungle out here!"
9. On a real estate agent who had to be seven feet tall (and terrifying): "He is too tall to be a real estate agent."
8. Brad isn't spending Sunday mornings trolling commercial real estate listings, he's "on-line looking at what, like, Kim Kardashian wore on Saturday night."
7. The Billy Reid aesthetic: "It's kind of dressing like a sexy pioneer!"
6. "Get your gingham on!"
5. Before getting to Billy Reid's party and realizing that not piling on mounds of southern food was basically an impossibility, Brad had a warning: "It's not good to eat too much in public—especially with the fashion crowd!"
4. Some of the with-Ashton critiquings were pretty hilarious—one girl was wearing a vest: "I think the vest is a little sad."
3. Also, prefacing an anti-strappy sandal comment: "I'm going to make a style confession here."
2. There were several instances of Brad telling Lindsay that this trip would and should be all business, aka don't screw this up. "The only rule is that you don't embarrass me." And, "we are not Thelma & Louise."
1. Cut to Lindsay posing for that hipster videographer in a bikini and a sailor's hat while Brad looked on in horror. He lectured her, said he was joking, clearly wasn't joking, then: "Do you feel like you need to jump in the lake to cleanse your sins after posing like a little slut?"
Crying moments: 0