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You know Frank—he's been writing about menswear, sales, television, new shops, the recession, Lisa Loeb, the Golden Girls and getting blasted for Racked for over two years. Well, we think it's time you got to know him and his quirky-irreverent views on life and fashion even better with his column: Love, Frank. Taking the form of an open letter and always signed with love, Frank will rant about whatever style-related conundrum he encounters in a given week. So buckle your two-toned leather Moschino belts, folks, it's going to be ? Something.
Dear Trickers and Treaters,
T minus 12 days until Halloween!
Are you ready to spend your hard-earned money on a costume you'll ruin for four hours at a dark, over-crowded bar or lame party? Are you ready to potentially look like a total fool?
I'm not! But it's not about me. (And I already usually look like a fool.) Many of us love Halloween! And if you already love dressing and fashion, Halloween can be your chance to take that spirit of transformation to the next level.
And why not do so with a style-inspired costume? Some ideas:
Go Royal: The British Royal Family has been all over the place this year—why not build your costume around one of them? You can wear a bland white dress from Reiss and pearls and you're Kate Middleton! You can wear a wacky fascinator and you're Princess Bea or Princess Eugenie. Better yet: Grab a grass skirt and a partner and you're Prince William and Duchess Catherine, dancing and flower-festooned on the island of Tuvalu. Of course, if you don't feel like buying anything, you can just show up naked and say you're Prince Harry in Vegas.
Get Real: Reality TV is always rife with Halloween costume options. Just turn on your television and chances are you'll be inspired. I have a feeling that this year's hot (not hot as in hot, but hot as in popular) costume with be Honey Boo Boo-related. Maybe it's Mama June—good luck with the neck prosthetics. Or maybe it's a full glitz pageant nightmare ensemble, a blank stare, and a few cans of Red Bull. Other shows to think about: Anything featuring Abby Lee Miller, anything featuring a Real Housewife, anything featuring a drag queen, or Guy Fieri (who doesn't star in reality programming but who seems really, really real).
Get Fabulous: Absolutely Fabulous! Chances are, if you a diehard fan of the show, you're already an Edina or a Patsy (or a Saffron). And, chances are, if you already identify with one of the above, you probably could cobble together at least part of an Edina- or Patsy-inspired outfit. So, run with it—add a huge peace sign pendant and rainbow tights to your gold windbreaker and mini-backpack and you're Eddy. Of course, wigs would be essential. The Ab Fab crew is relevant again—they were all over this past year. One or two people might even get it! Alternately: You could go all Downton Abbey or Mad Men.
Go Pop: Nicki Minaj is pretty awesome. Katy Perry sucks. Lady Gaga is in space. Each always looks absolutely insane. Pick a look; Go to Claire's. When one of your songs comes on at whatever party you end up at—well, that's your time to shine.
Assemble an Army of Karls: This is my favorite idea. You will need at least a half dozen friends getting in on the action (and frankly, the more involved the better the spectacle). You will then need as many black lace fans and pairs of perforated leather driving gloves as you have participants. Each person will also need huge, dark glasses, an insanely slim suit, a ring on each finger, a long white ponytail gathered with a black velvet ribbon, and an assortment of cameos, ascots and bolo ties. Other possible accessories include: A greasy sack of McDonald's (Google it), a Burmese cat, several dozen iPods, and/or a barely legal body builder. And there you are: A critical mass of Karl Lagerfelds through the years. It will be stunning and terrifying and you will win the contest.
Zombies: Zombies are hot right now. Just go as a Zombie.
· Love, Frank [Racked]
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