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Today in inevitable things, a pop-dance-techno beat has been laid in honor of Kate Upton, but it's coming from kind of an unexpected place. Victoria Aitken, the "thirtysomething daughter of a disgraced former Cabinet minister," according to the Telegraph, and penner of such hits as I'll be Your Bitch and Vicky From The Yacht, wrote these words in honor of the Sports Illustrated/Vogue model: "Rock down everybody, love your body, we're touching on the dance floor." [Telegraph UK]