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You know Frank—he's been writing about menswear, sales, television, new shops, the recession, Lisa Loeb, the Golden Girls and getting blasted for Racked for over two years. Well, we think it's time you got to know him and his quirky-irreverent views on life and fashion even better with his column: Love, Frank. Taking the form of an open letter and always signed with love, Frank will rant about whatever style-related conundrum he encounters in a given week. So buckle your two-toned leather Moschino belts, folks, it's going to be ? Something.
Will a tax refund pay for ex-con crafted Marni patio furniture? Image via Cool Hunting.
Dear Tax Refund Receivers,
Happy Tax Refund! Happy most wonderful time of the year for those lucky enough to be getting some cash back from the government!
It's been years since I've last counted myself amongst you refund receivers. Seriously, the last time I got a refund was before the IRS offered direct deposit. As a long-time freelancer I'd grown accustomed to writing large pre-payment checks to the government every June, September, and December on top of April's tax pay-out, pre-payment, and various, niggling independent contractor's fees.
Those, of course, were on top of the gratuitous IRA contributions—better to pop a thousand in some account you can cash out upon retiring (assuming the world hasn't ended by then) than give the IRS even more than you already are.
So, I'm used to a bare bones April, not to mention less-than-luxurious Junes, Septembers, and Decembers.
This year, however, I'm back amongst the salaried. And I'm getting a big, fat tax refund. I've never been more excited. Truly—my accountant already warned me not to spend it all in one place. I just couldn't help getting all starry-eyed (starry-voiced?) over a leather jacket whilst on the phone with her.
But what to do with all that money—it feels like a windfall! Like winning the lottery!
Now, I'm not totally financially inept. Certainly I will put away a significant portion of it. And another chunk will pay off an odd here and an end there. Including the credit card bill for that leather jacket I already bought—even if I haven't actually gotten any money back. Don't judge. It's yellow. I needed it.
It's not even that much money—yet, I feel like I'm that woman in that commercial for poor-people cell phones. She's saving so much money on her off-brand plan that she suddenly thinks she can just buy the crown jewels from a museum display. Essentially, I need to cool it. Get back to reality.
And then ? And then someone sent me this. Marni patio furniture. When, where and how much? They're PVC and assembled by Columbian ex-convicts—how expensive could they be? I'll take three or four—they'll give my terrace a sort of louche Morroco-meets-Bauhaus vibe. I'll just need some banana palms in stainless steel urns and some Moorish tile to complete the look.
Image via Lucky.
Not to mention, the forthcoming Kenzo collaboration with Vans. They shouldn't be prohibitively expensive—they're canvas. I'll just have to fly to Europe to buy them.
I'm getting all riled up; and for, I think, very good reason. Enjoy those tax refunds folks—what are you planning on buying with your share? Feel free to inspire us with your shopping ideas in the comments. And in the words of every irritatingly sensible tax preparer out there: Don't spend it all in one place.
· Love, Frank [Racked]