Episode 9: Beware the Wrath of Betty Francis

Racked is no longer publishing. Thank you to everyone who read our work over the years. The archives will remain available here; for new stories, head over to Vox.com, where our staff is covering consumer culture for The Goods by Vox. You can also see what we’re up to by signing up here.

Last night's episode marks the triumphant return of Betty Francis, who had a less than triumphant return in episode 4. She's lost some of that weight, but she's still diligently eating her anxiety and counting calories. And, weighing cubes of cheese. As the episode progresses, Betty channels this into an attempt to destroy Megan and Don's marriage but alas, it fails.

Speaking of failure, Pete has a big one this episode. Our first scene inside Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce is a head honcho elevator ride, where Pete tells Roger, Burt, and Don that they're going to be included in a story in the Times about "hip agencies." Needless to say, the person from the Times doesn't think Pete is that hip.

In preparation, Don goes through some of the firm's best recent work, and finds that Ginsberg's name is on all of them. His reaction is that "Peggy really got buried in Heinz," however it's also pretty clear Don is beginning to doubt his creative worth. Later that evening, he passes by Ginsberg's desk and snoops through a folder labeled "Shit I Gotta Do." Joan must have not been around to make him a proper label.

Anyway, Don fingers through Gisnberg's ideas for Sno Ball soft drink and predominantly finds images of people—including Hitler—being hit in the face with an actual snow ball. This inspires him to ramble into his dictaphone about a "snowball's chance in hell." ("They're for the damned." "They're sinfully delicious." Okay Don, we get it.)

Roger and Burt discuss landing the Manischewitz account on their own. Burt reminds Roger that he has a Jewish wife, so she could help lure in the Jewish client. Roger reminds Burt that he and Jane are no longer married, Burt looks at his watch and asks, "Already?"

Back at the Draper apartment, Megan is teaching Sally how to cry on command. Probably not a good idea to teach this to a little girl who will most likely use it later to get her way, but nevertheless, Sally can't quite master it the way Megan can. Meanwhile, New Bobby has built himself a fort out of couch cushions and no one is paying any attention to Baby Gene. Megan tries to explain it to Sally one more time: "Just keep them wide open and think about something that makes you sad."

Speaking of sad, Betty arrives to pick up the kids. Henry can't find a parking spot so she actually has to venture up to Don's penthouse. She's looking quite matronly in a houndstooth coat, a scarf, and her usual scowl. While the kids get ready to leave, Betty takes a peek throughout the apartment. She then proceeds to watch Megan get dressed for an uncomfortable amount of time. After their awkward conversation, Betty returns home and pours whipped cream into her mouth. After realizing that was gross, she spits it out.

At Betty's Weight Watchers meeting, she's asked to talk about her week. She says she had a bad week "out there" after having a good week "in here." However, she did lose half a pound, which is probably the result of spitting out that whipped cream, and she would like to pat herself on the back for that.

The next day at Don's office, everyone bounces around their Sno Ball ideas. Peggy suggests a cartoon where four men crawl across the Sahara and one of them has "Sno Ball" in his thought-bubble. Ginsberg talks about his snowball-to-the-face idea. The tag is "hit me in the face with a snowball." Don talks about his devil idea. He presumes everyone else throws around the "snowball chance in hell" phrase as often as he does, but this appears to be something of a generational gap.

Across the way, Roger attempts to bribe Ginsberg to do some work for the Manischewitz account. First, though, Ginsberg makes sure to compliment Roger on his painting. Roger says it's "reminiscent of certain experiences for some people." He means his acid trip. Roger then explains the account by saying, "They make wine for Jews, and now they're making one they want to sell to normal people. Like me." Roger gives Ginsberg $200, and Ginsberg says Roger could wipe his ass with $200. But, he takes it anyway.

Roger then calls Jane to invite her to the client dinner. Or, to beg her to come. Roger recalls, "When we took LSD you swore to me you'd always be there for me." She says it's going to cost him, and it's going to cost him a new apartment. Turns out, Roger's mother is still Jane's landlord, since she's still living in their old apartment.

Pete hears a knock on his office door and it's Beth, Howard's wife. The one he just slept with. She's wearing a fur coat and apparently, just underwear underneath, with a ton of sideboob by AMC's standards. She tells him she forgot about him, but then she saw him in the Times. She leans in for a boob-filled kiss and then—Pete wakes up. He was dreaming.

At the Francis residence, Sally is working on a family tree project for school. Betty riffles through Bobby's papers and stumbles on a drawing of a whale. On the back of it is a cheesy note from Don, to Megan, that reads: "Lovely Megan, I went out to buy a lightbulb. When I get back, I'll see you better." This then prompts Betty to tell Sally not to forget Anna on the family tree, Don's first wife. When Sally says she has no idea who this Anna is, Betty tells her to ask Megan about it. And, the seed is planted.

Back at the Draper apartment, Sally calls Megan a "phony" and confronts her about Anna. She adds, "And guess what? You're not special. And neither was Anna." Betty may as well have written this out in script format for Sally. Megan takes the verbal beating from Sally and clears up who Anna is: "They never lived together, and they never had any babies. Honest." Megan storms out, and Sally asks if she's going to go and make herself cry.

And now: two more awkward conversations. Megan tells Don that Sally asked about Anna. They have a blowout fight and come to the conclusion that this is just Betty being a brat. Don picks up the phone to rip her a new one, but Megan reminds him that that's exactly what she wants. Despite the fact that Don doesn't want to let Betty "stick her fat nose in everything," he puts the phone down.

As for conversation number two, this one takes place between Peggy and Ginsberg. Ginsberg says he's doing some secret work for Roger and isn't supposed to tell anyone. He then tells her everything. Ginsberg offers Peggy some of the money if she tells him what she thinks about the work, to which she responds: "I don't care." She does, though.

On Sunday, Pete calls Don to let him know that—surprise!—they're not going to be in the Times. In fact, the article came out and it's "a bullshit piece on the usual assholes." Don then tells Pete not to throw his failures in his face on a Sunday, and hangs up. Sally and Bobby were eavesdropping, and Don calls Sally in to have it out with her. Don lays on the guilt by telling her that Anna is dead, and Sally finally agrees to shut up about the whole thing and apologize to Megan.

Elsewhere, Roger has his client meeting with Manischewitz. Jane is wearing some sort of feather or ribbon in her hair, which is enough to entice some attention out of the client's son, Bernard. In the cab on the way home, Roger tells Jane that if anything happens between her and Bernard she has to pretend she's still married. This is business, after all. Then, they have sex in her new apartment, which pretty much defeats the purpose of her getting a new apartment in order to rid herself of bad Roger memories.

In other client news, Sno Ball loved the devil pitch. Which was Don's. Ginsberg wants to know what they thought of his pitch, and Harry tells him that they left it in the cab because Don didn't want to go in with two ideas. Ginsberg storms out and Peggy and Stan order some dinner. Just another day. In the elevator later, Ginsberg tells Don that he feels sorry for him. Don gets him one better by saying, "I don't think about you at all."

And now, everyone heads home for Thanksgiving. Pete is on the train with Howard, who is talking about how he wants to spend a lot of time with his "girl" before he has to spend the holiday with his family. Pete then suggests Howard spend Thanksgiving with his girl, and Pete will go and screw his wife for him. Pete's not actually joking, but Howard thinks it's hilarious.

At the Draper residence, Megan sets the table and warns Don not to open the windows because there's a toxic smog in the air. That toxic smog could possibly be stemming from Betty Francis' bad attitude. At her dinner table, she tells the kids that she's thankful that she has everything she wants, and that "no one has anything better." Bobby is thankful for his new sled and his two nice houses. Betty then digs into her Thanksgiving meal, which consists of about five tiny pieces of food.

And, that's all—Happy Thanksgiving! As for next week, Lane is back, Don and Megan go to the movies, Joan couldn't care less about something, and Pete is annoying.

· All Mad Men Coverage [Racked]