My oh my, how are we going to top last week's fellatio? Last night's episode focused predominantly on—surprise!—Megan, and then how everyone relates to Megan. Megan's relationship with Don, Megan's relationship with Don, and Megan's relationship with elevators.
We also see a lot of Angry Peggy in this episode, plus plenty of scenes involving Pete in ways we've seen him before. (Hint: Trudy isn't in this episode.) Also, Don has a hard time keeping up with what kind of music kids are listening to these days.
First up, we see Pete reading on the train, or trying to at least. His chatty commuter friend, Howard, isn't playing cards today, and instead, he's going to try to talk to Pete about signing up for a new life insurance policy. Howard would also like to talk about his new "side dish" in the city. He explains that he bought a new tie because he met a "strawberry blonde, tiny thing with huge tits."
At Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce, Megan does all her work in Don's office as usual, and Ginsberg does all his dancing in the conference room. He, Don, Harry, and Ken are trying to pitch something that's "shot for shot a Hard Day's Night" to Chevalier Blanc. When Ginsberg finishes, Chevalier Blanc emphasizes how important the music is, since it would be impossible to actually get the Beatles. Stan says a million bands sound like that. Harry says they can just make their own. And Don says he knows what the Beatles sound like, so it appears as though everyone is sort of on the same page.
Roger calls Pete into his office because he would like to give him a pair of skis. Pete asks if they'll "explode, or something." Roger tells Pete that the head of Head Ski Company, has requested the presence of Pete's doofyness in handling their account. Hey Pete, don't worry—Roger's not madatcha. He explains to him that now, he can finally "sit back and let the business roll in while you pass the jug with some schmo from Lutherville, Maryland."
Don tells Megan he's about to head out to a drab client dinner, and Megan says she's going to stay and work. Before leaving, he asks her, "When did music become so important?" Don is pretty clueless on what music is popular now that it's not 1950, because let's face it, he's kind of the second oldest fart the company has, with Pete as a close second. (Burt, of course, is first.)
Pete decides he's done for the night too, and takes his skis with him. Peggy asks him if it's snowing, and then, if he's "a really good skier. Like, famous." He can barely keep it together long enough to drag them on out of there without destroying the floor. The next person to walk by Peggy is Megan, albeit a lot more gracefully than Pete. She's all dressed up and makes up a lie about meeting Don for dinner. Peggy thought they were going to be working late, because Peggy is always working late. Go home, Peggy. You live with Abe now, right?
Pete is still carrying his skis when he gets to his train stop in Cos Cob, and passes a woman waiting by a locked car. It's Howard's wife, Beth. She isn't sure if Howard fell asleep on the train, because "he's done that before." The "that" in this sentence, though, being his new strawberry blonde. Always thinking on his toes, Pete makes up some half-assed lie about seeing Howard cornered by someone in the Oyster Bar, and offers to call a locksmith. She suggest instead that he drive her home. Guess where this ends up.
Answer: On the floor of her house! But, not before their thrilling car ride. Beth explains that she knows Howard is staying in the city, because "we" got an apartment. She then laughs at her use of "we," because well, it's "his" bachelor pad. Beth then takes to calling Pete an awful driver. He blew a stop sign, which isn't surprising since that was probably taught in his recent Driver's Ed class, which he spent staring at a high school senior.
For one reason or another, Pete follows Beth into her house because she's being hysterical, which seems like it'd be a pretty good reason to just drop her off at the door. But they have sex, and after they finish she tells him his irises are like those pictures of earth from space: scary. She then tells him this can never happen again, and that she means it, and he should go home.
Don returns home from his drab client dinner and calls the office looking for Megan. Peggy totally screws up and says she thought she was with him. Peggy tries coming up with a bunch of hypothetical places Megan can be before telling him, "I don't know where she is. Do you know where Abe is?" Her next strategy to remove her foot from her mouth is to pretend to be from Pizza House when Don calls again. He definitely knows it's her and calls right back. She doesn't answer! He totally bought it, Peggy. Good one.
Should I pretend to be Pizza House?
Megan walks in the door in a different dress than she left the office in and tells Don she got a drink with Joey and Troy. She says she "had to lie to Peggy to get outta there" and Don totally hears that. Her next lie: That she's hungry and she's going to get some crackers. Megan's not really fooling anyone, particularly Don, who holds the former heavyweight title of Master Wife-Cheater of the Universe.
The next morning, Peggy takes an awkward elevator ride with Megan and Don, which is apparently all it takes for her to then corner Megan in the bathroom and demand an explanation. Megan's explanation, unfortunately, is kind of boring. She had a call-back for an Off-Off-Broadway play. She didn't get it. She says she can't tell Don she still wants to be an actress, to which Peggy responds "do you?" The conversation more or less concludes with Megan admitting that she hates being a copywriter.
Everyone else who isn't currently in the women's bathroom is in Don's office. Megan and Peggy join them, and Ken tells everyone that Cool Whip wants to see the "Mr. and Mrs. Draper bit" at their upcoming test kitchen. This, we learn, is a little faux banter Don and Megan have brainstormed to sell Cool Whip, or, to try to explain what it is. It revolves around the slogan "Just Taste It," which Megan says a handful of times before Peggy angrily blurts out "just taste it!" Despite being pretty perfect at the "stupid husband and pushy wife" routine, Don and Megan don't want to be in the ads. (But wait—now we know that Megan sort of does.)
Elsewhere, Pete makes a secret phone call to Howard's wife and demands she get on a train and meet him in the city. Beth says it's not a good idea, and instead she'll just fantasize about their last experience. Which is a little awkward.
That evening, Megan creepily hovers over Don while he's sleeping. Naturally, she thinks this is the best time to tell him she'd like to quit her job. She admits to lying the other night, and tells him that she really misses acting. Don tells her she can't be in the Cool Whip ads because it's bad for business. She clarifies that she meant Off-Broadway, Broadway, or hell, even film. After Don suggests maybe she just go to another firm, Megan decides that what she really wants to do is leave advertising all together, so Don suggests that tomorrow she go in and say goodbye to everyone. Two weeks notice, two weeks schmotice.
In the morning, Don goes into Joan's office and tells her that Megan quit. She says, "Oh." Don tells her it's going to be Megan's last day and she says, "Okay." Whoever is writing Joan's script has decided she'll at most get twenty words per episode, and she's now going to be shot primarily from behind that desk. Joan then tells Don that the girls will take Megan out to lunch, which does not end up including Peggy.
Megan prepares to make the announcement to Peggy, Stan, and Ginsberg. Nobody is listening to Megan except Peggy. They finally do once Peggy demands their attention, and when Megan starts to cry. At first, Ginsberg thinks Don fired Megan. He didn't, obviously, and Megan explains that she's going to pursue acting. Ginsberg assures her that "acting is fascinating" and asks, "Do they always give you clothes or do you have to do it in your own clothes? Shoes, too?"
After she passes all of her work over to Peggy, Ginsberg lets everyone know that Megan probably quit because she never had money for lunch. She owes him $15, and now he contemplates if he should ask Don for it. Probably not worth it.
Don walks Megan to the elevator and tells her he'll bring her box of stuff home with him tonight so she doesn't have to do all that again after lunch. The elevator opens and Megan and Don kiss while a elevator-full of people wait for her to step in and leave the world of baked beans and Cool Whip behind forever. A few moments later, another elevator arrives at the floor, but this one has no elevator in it—it's just an empty elevator shaft that—wait a second!—Megan could have walked right into! Though, this most likely wouldn't have happened.
Now that Megan's been sent off, Don's next task is to pick the song for the Chevalier Blanc commercial. Ken plays Don a song that's 30-years-old and kind of a snooze. Don has no idea, though, and he thinks it's the Beatles. Apparently, Ken is the third oldest fart at SCDP. Before Ginsberg and Stan have enough time to fully object, Ken asks them to leave the room and asks Don what they're going to do about the Cool Whip test kitchen. Who's going to play the pushy wife now that Megan has taken her last elevator ride at the firm? Why, Peggy of course.
Invite myself over for dinner? Why, that's not creepy at all!
On the train home, Pete asks Howard if he could sign him up for some good ol' fashioned life insurance. Pete cunningly suggests he go to Howard's house for dinner to review some policies, which definitely isn't all he plans to review. When Howard leaves the room, Pete pounces on the opportunity to kiss Beth and invite her to the Hotel Pennsylvania. Beth, who isn't too happy that Pete is stalking her, says she has "migraine." So, the two men eat baked chicken together.
Don comes home and finds Megan barefoot in the kitchen—just where he likes her! Or is it? Megan says she thought he'd come home drunk, and also tells him that he's everything she thought he would be. He assures her that she's everything he thought she would be, too, but this feels significantly less genuine when he says it.
At the test kitchen, Peggy prepares to be the new Mrs. Draper in their little skit. Don manages to remember his lines and Peggy's, despite the fact that he's not staring into Megan's perfect face. But, Peggy bombs it. She keeps saying "Just try it" instead of "Just taste it." This is a huge difference, and Cool Whip hates the bit. Then, the fight starts. But before we get to that, let's just point out that the Cool Whip head honcho is none other than Bayside High School's Principal Belding. Moving on.
"Just try it!"
Don wonders if maybe the actors will also forget to say "just taste it," and Ken asks if maybe Megan would come back and do the bit in the office. Peggy says Megan is not the problem, and Don yells that Peggy didn't want her there in the first place. Peggy argues that she spent more time training her than Don did, which is normal, because in what advertising company does the creative director train new hires?
Peggy says she always defended Megan, to which Don rebuttals that she didn't need any defending because "she was great at it." The fight ends with Peggy telling Don that he's not mad at her, "so shut up." Zing! The test kitchen attendant, who was apparently standing there the whole time, then tells Don he can't smoke in the room.
Later that evening, Megan gives Grandpa Don a Beatles album before she bops on out to class. She instructs him to start with Tomorrow Never Knows, and the song sets the backdrop to the last few scenes of the episode. First, the confused look on Don's face. Then, Peggy smoking a joint with Stan while working at the office.
And after that, Pete looking at Beth and Howard in their car when they all leave the train station. Beth draws a little heart on the window with her fingers before rolling down the window to erase it and thus, crush Pete's entire existence. And finally, before Don pulls the needle off the record, we see Megan lying on the floor at her acting class.
Alright, enough about Megan. Guess who's coming back next week? Betty Francis! Also, Pete's tells everyone that "good news can wait," Roger wants dinner, and Don wear a henley.
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