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Episode 4: The One Where The Designers Are Dropping Like Flies

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It's week four of Project Run(a)way, and the designers learn that Andrea quit the show, sneaking out of the Atlas apartments in the middle of the night. Then Kooan, his spirit completely broken after a few hours with Meana Irina, announces his departure, too. Then Fabio and Nate start crying, and we fear they'll be the next to bail. In response to all these unscheduled designer departures, the producers bring back anyone they can nab to fill the openings: last week's auf'ed designer Raul, a Nebraskan tourist they bribe with tickets to The Lion King, and actress Sylvia Miles, who heard there might be free food. The producers don't bother to bring back the previously auf'ed designer Lantie, because that would make Tim Gunn quit.

Raul makes his return with the charming greeting, "I'm back bitches!" Then tempts fate with the editing gods by telling us he shouldn't have been kicked off last week because of his "talent." Most of the contestants seem delighted to have him back, but Ven is pissed. It's not because he fears Raul's talent, he just dislikes his attitude. "I'm tired of the complaining," Ven complains.

And oh yeah, the designers do eventually design some clothing. They're brought to Michael Kors' Madison Avenue flagship store to learn about their challenge, because one of the perks of being a judge on Project Runway is that you get to promote your own work. (Spoiler: Heidi now makes baby clothing...) The designers' challenge this week is to create an outfit for "The Michael Kors woman," but with their own aesthetic in mind, which can transition from day to night, and travel well. We're not sure exactly who the Michael Kors woman is, but we're guessing her clothes don't clash with orange.

Joining Michael and Nina Garcia this week are two guest judges: designer Rachel Roy and actress Hayden Panetierre. We love Rachel's judging, and not just because she gave us such a good Buyer's Remorse story. Rachel shares intelligent insights on the construction of the garments. As for Hayden, what can we say about her judging—that won't leave us open to libel? Hayden seems a little out of it. And her critiques are frequently repetitions of what the other judges just said. Except for when she discusses the various garments' shoulders. Hayden confesses to having issues with the size of her own shoulders, and therefore repeatedly brings up how the designs will look on them. We'd say this was just narcissism, except that at the end of the show, we and the designers learn that Hayden will wear the winning garment on an as yet to be determined Red Carpet. It seems that "The Michael Kors woman" goes from airplanes to Red Carpets without needing to change.

This week's winning garment is Sonjia's—A pretty draped charcoal dress which the judges don't seem to notice has an oddly placed sagging section of material on the chest (which they've somehow hidden in the above photo). Yes, it seems that "The Michael Kors Woman" also has three breasts. The dress is fairly sheer in the back, tight fitting around the butt and extremely short. Sonjia says that you can wear the dress to work—especially if your boss is a madam.

Also in the top three is Professor Snape's. This is Dmitri's first time getting attention for his designs, which is surprising, since they've included some of the better ones this season. Dmitri wants to show the judges his draping technique via a black dress with a single seam. Michael says, "Hands down it's the best made garment that we've seen today." He only wishes it was a more daring color. But Heidi doesn't think it's sexy enough, and of course Hayden doesn't like the shoulders. Rachel says that the dress is so well sewn that she'd hire Dmitri to work for her—in her sample room. Uh oh, this is not Project Seamstress.

Joining Sonjie and Dmitri in the top three is Christopher. He also creates a black draped dress, along with a cropped leather jacket, which Nina thinks is the most editorial of all this week's designs. Christopher's clothing is better than his attitude, however. When he hears that his former teammate Andrea, whom he'd brutally thrown under the bus, has left, he whines, "I don't know how she could just leave. It's like a joke being played on me." Yes, Christopher, the world revolves around you. Somewhere out there the Sun King wants his title back.

Then there's the bottom three. Fabio is there, with a too-short print dress and a too-cropped jacket. The judges don't like his designs and say they wish that he would create clothing which is more like his personal attire. They rave about his runway outfit, particularly the ropes Fabio is wearing around his neck. Yes, the ropes around his neck.

Also in the bottom three is Raul, whose resurrection seems like it might be short lived, thanks to a a suit with pants that don't fit and a jacket which looks kind of like a dead butterfly. Raul and Rachel both describe it as "ambitious," which on Project Runway is a synonym for "hideous."

But it's not as bad as Buffi's design. Yes, our auf'ed contestant this week is the boisterous Buffi. It seems her charming personality could only carry her through four weeks, at which point the judges finally realized that that she kept making the same shoddy hairdressing smock—over and over again—because it's all she can do. Buffy explained, "I don't normally work with jersey or chiffon," or probably needle and thread. When she's auf'ed Heidi says, "It's a matter of taste." Indeed.

As Buffi departs, a saddened Tim calls Buffi, "Season Ten's host." We sense a post-Runway spinoff gig in the making...

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