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We Witnessed Ryan Lochte's Infamous Anna Wintour Knee Grab Incident: Here's a Play-by-Play

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We were seated directly across from Anna Wintour at yesterday's Ralph Lauren show, which gave us the opportunity to witness one of the most awkward Fashion Week moments of all time from an incredible vantage point. Here's what happened:

Ryan Lochte entered the room looking way cuter than we expected in a perfectly tailored RL suit (he's definitely getting the hang of this Fashion Week thing!) Perhaps because Ralph Lauren's shows are exponentially more civilized than most shows, or perhaps because people are kind of getting sick of Lochte, he was for once not totally mobbed by journalists or cameras or journalists with cameras.

He looked lost for a second or two, then got busy pretending to know what he's supposed to be doing at fashion shows (don't worry Ryan, it's a game we all play). Seeing his old friend Anna seated to his left, he swoops in for a chummy hello.

Considering that Lochte's shoulder span is approximately equivalent to Anna Wintour's total height, things got awkward real fast. He slammed down a kiss on her right cheek, and then appeared to balance on Wintour's delicately crossed knee with his right hand. Either that, or after all these years in Speedos he has entirely forgotten the appropriate boundaries for greeting people who are wearing clothing.

Anyway, the exchange was brief and weathered well by Wintour, who, after he left, turned to Grace Coddington and muttered something with a smirk and a half-laugh. We're pretty sure she said, "What a douchebag."

Also, bonus update: Bloggers have been baffled this Fashion Week by Grace Coddington's strange insistence on writing in what appears to be a copy of her memoirs during shows. We were able to get a good look at the page from where we were sitting: She has been making sketches of different looks from the shows in the blank pages of the book. Perhaps another Balenciaga bag is in the works?
· Based on These Boleros, We're Guessing Ralph Lauren Took His Last Vacation in Spain [Racked]
· Anna Wintour Would Like To Introduce You to Ryan Lochte [Racked]