Missed the Golden Globes? 7 Things You Need To Know

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Okay, so you didn't watch the Golden Globes. We're not going to shame you—we've all been there. But in case you're just too ashamed to admit to your co-workers what you really did last night (passed out in front of the television holding a glass of $3 Trader Joe's wine), here's all the important stuff you can mention at the water cooler today.

1. Jodie Foster kinda, sorta came out and retired at the same time?
If there was any moment to remember from last night, it's this one. Jodie Foster, who received a Cecil B. DeMille award for her illustrious career, took the honor as an opportunity to deliver a moving and impassioned speech in which she came out (in so many words) about her sexuality: "This is not going to be a big coming out speech tonight because I already did my coming out about a thousand years ago back in the Stone Age," she said, "in those very quaint days when a fragile girl would open up to trusted friends and family and co-workers and then gradually proudly to everyone who knew her." Of course, there was not a dry eye in the room.

She ended her speech with the suggestion that after 47 years in the business, she may be ready to leave acting behind. "This feels like the end of one era and the beginning of something else," she said. "Now what? I may never be on this stage. On any stage for that matter. Change—you got to love it."

Do you, Jodie. You've earned it!

2. Amy Poehler and Tina Fey killed it.
It's no surprise the ladies were on point. The pair poked fun at the fact that most of America has never seen (Zero Dark Thirty just came out this weekend) or heard of (Salmon Fishing in Yemen?) most of the movies nominated. The best moments? Advising serial dater Taylor Swift to "stay away from Michael J. Fox's son," and closing the show saying, "We're going home with Jodie Foster!"

3. Everyone Was Sick
Not even the rich and famous are immune to the wrath of the Franken-flu
assaulting us this winter. Meryl Streep skipped the ceremonies altogether, leaving Hugh Jackman and Jennifer Lawrence to deliver (rather feverish) acceptance speeches.

4. Claire Danes looks like that four weeks after giving birth.
Might as well pack up and call it a day, folks. Claire Danes came out to accept a Globe for her role in Homeland, rocking the hell out of an Atelier Versace gown replete with strategic draping and looking like a bag full of money a mere month after giving birth to her first child.

5. Bill Clinton made a surprise appearance
The 42nd US President blessed the ceremony with a surprise appearance,
presenting the Spielberg-directed film Lincoln. Clinton's presence was an obvious treat for the crowd of swooning Hollywood notables, with Taylor Swift shedding a couture tear or two at the sight of the former Commander-in-Chief. Even host Amy Poehler seemed starstuck, quipping, "Oh my god, that was Hillary Clinton's husband!"

6. Lucy Liu's Carolina Herrera Pre-Fall 2012 Gown
Lucy Liu is a woman who looks flawless in pretty much everything, But the floral-printed powdery-blue Carolina Herrera gown she rocked last night had part of the audience applauding, and the other wondering from which room in their nana's house did Liu borrow the wallpaper to make that frock.

7. Girls won big
A Zac Posen-clad Lena Dunham took the stage to collect her award for Best Actress in 'Girls,' and then again for Best Series, Musical or Comedy. Of course, the 26-year-old actress expressed delight over her validation as an actress and writer, saying, 'This award is for every woman who felt like there wasn't a space for her. This show has made a space for me."

And if you just want to see all the pretty dresses, head over to our sister site in LA for their comprehensive red carpet gallery of highs, lows, and people who looked crazy.—Jihan Forbes
· Globes 2013: Highs, Lows and People That Looked Crazy [Racked LA]
· All red carpet coverage [Racked]