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Ten Absurd Gifts to Burn Money on This Christmas

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Image via Shutterstock.
Image via Shutterstock.

Racked is no longer publishing. Thank you to everyone who read our work over the years. The archives will remain available here; for new stories, head over to, where our staff is covering consumer culture for The Goods by Vox. You can also see what we’re up to by signing up here.

According to Gallup, the average American adult will spend $786 on holiday gifts this year, which is up from the $616 figure in 2009, when the economy was tanking.

Not everyone is pinching pennies and hitting the dollar store, though. For shoppers with money to burn, there are more ridiculously expensive options out there than ever before. From TVs that cost as much as a down payment on a home to mattresses in the five figures, here's a look at some of the most luxe gifts on the market.

Kilian's bespoke perfume line costs $30,000.

1. Kilian Hennessy bespoke perfume for $30,000: For $30,000, this luxury French perfumer will create a made-to-measure scent just for you. The perfume is crafted in four steps, and comes with a silver plaque for engraving. For the same amount of money, you could buy yourself a new Mercedes-Benz CLA.

Hästens mattress has unique layering methods between springs.

2. Hästens 2000T Mattress for $32,100: The sleep of your dreams will cost you—$32,100, to be exact. Swedish mattress maker Hästens promises extra softness and pliability with a unique layering method. Each spring is mounted one-by-one and is given its own fabric pocket to guarantee the most comfortable night of sleep. For the money spent on this mattress, you could vacation to Paris some five times with a budget of $6,000 per trip!

Behold, a television that costs as much as a down payment on a house.

3. Samsung's new LED TV for $31,499: This $31,499-priced television has "best picture quality," guaranteeing ultra-HD features with micro dimming. The screen is as thin as a computer desktop, and can flip in whichever direction you're sitting in. The 120Hz refresh rate boasts a better viewing for movies, sports, and video games and the Smart TV component is activated with voice control. Then again, you could also put a down payment on a home, and furnish each room with television sets and still have money left over.

The Row's Python tote bag, actually on sale now!

4. The Row's Python Tall Day Tote for $11,399: Made in Italy, this python bag has leather interior and gold-tone hardware throughout—and is on sale at Barney's for $11,399. The flat shoulder strap is detachable, and accessories include a cell phone pocket and travel mirror. You could also vacation to Antarctica in luxury for the same price, but only if you fancy polar bears.

Six-inch Louboutins made of crystals.

5. Christian Louboutin Highness Strass pumps: The king of fancy footwear claims you'll "become the queen of the room in these shoes." This crystal-bejeweled pump, which stands on a six-inch heel, can be yours for $6,395. Or, you can splurge on a new fridge for your kitchen.

A gold-plated iPhone with diamonds.

6. An iPhone 5S, plated in 24K gold, for $8,000: If the latest version of the iPhone isn't gold enough for you, dip that gadget in the real stuff. For $8,000, luxury electronics maker Ademov will plate your phone in 24-karat gold, and the Apple logo will come with 18-karat white gold and diamonds. For the same price, you could auto-pay your cellphone bill for about five years.

A brass coffee maker, with automatic water softener, for $8,000

7. Hammacher Espresso machine: For $8,000, score a brass-plated, gourmet coffee maker which automatically adjusts water amount to serving size of water-to-grind ratio when making a cup of joe. The machine includes a built-in water softener and four different options of brew strength. You could also buy yourself one cup of Starbucks coffee every day for almost five years.

A bottle opener, complete with precious stones

8. Kelly Wearstler bottle opener for $425: For superior beverages, there's a $495 bottle opener from decor wizard Kelly Wearstler. The bar accessory is made of brass and features hand-selected turquoise and aquamarine stones. For the price of this bottle opener, you could upgrade your outdated laptop.

A $900 onesie because why not?

9. Preen holiday onesie for $898: Thorton Bregazzi's Preen is selling a floral-printed onesie, providing comfort in an adult version of baby pajamas. The material is made of soft jersey, and the waist has a drawstring for kicking back at home, as well as a good. For the price of these PJs, you could dine out pretty nicely at least five times.

Panties that cost almost $200.

10. Agent Provocateur thong for $190: Treat yourself with a $190 thong from luxury lingerie company Agent Provocateur. The underwear is made of Sophie Halletta lace and the back is laced up through black zamac eyelets. The undies are also equivalent to a week's worth of groceries, so tough choice here…

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