Valentine's Day Presents from the Absurdly Rich, a Gift Guide

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• We'll take one in black, too. Proenza Schouler, $5,525
• When only the finest can touch your bum. Agent Provocateur silk-blend satin underwired bra $1,190 and the
• What time is it? Time to prove your love in gold. Reed Krakoff, $2,690
• Valentine's Day is not a time for subtlety. Charlotte Olympia, $1,450
• Mmm, smells like it's better than you.
• Chump change, Chocolat Moderne Champagne truffles, $45
• Because nothing says "I love you" like armored knucks. Lordee Rodkin, 18-karat rhodium white gold diamond armor ring, $28,380
• The obligatory 1%-er gift guide Birkin. Hermès Vert Fonce Porosus Crocodile bag, $92,950

Nobody freak out! Valentine's day is just TWO WEEKS AWAY. Some people prefer to avoid it, others like to celebrate their significant other in a quiet way. But if your partner is of a certain class of humans, then quiet celebrations are not an option, so casually slide this list of suggestions his way and await your spoils. Whether its Proenza Schouler's Valentine's day capsule or Charlotte Olympia's love-ly pumps, you're coming away with something pink, blingy, or edible. Can't lose.
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