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Girls Episode 5: Brownstone Envy and a Whole Lotta Nothing

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Last night's episode of HBO's Girls—the fifth of season 2—was kind of a dud. True, Hannah exposed her truest self (and, obviously, her boobs): The fact that wanting happiness and normalcy makes her feel shameful and hypocritical. Also, she fainted in the shower in a beautifully restored brownstone vacuum owned by a much older dude.

What happened was: Hannah and Ray were "working" at the café and said dude—Joshua—comes in to complain that someone was using his trash cans to discard coffee grounds and invoices and such. Obviously, it was Hannah because she's lazy and ridiculous; obviously, Ray acts like a jerk and has rage and/or authority issues; obviously, Hannah follows Joshua home and ends up spending the next 36 or so hours holed up in this ridiculous house wearing towels and eating steak and playing ping pong.

There was no Marnie, there was no Jessa, there was no Shoshana—but read on for some looks and some (not many) laughs.


Omigod, Hannah and Ray are so engrossed in a conversation regarding the term "sexit" that neither noticed Skrillex totally biking through Greenpoint!


Here is a guy who bumbles from couch to share to girlfriend but mostly lives in his car—and yet he's managed to hold onto the Top Gun tee shirt his first college girlfriend bought him at Urban Outfitters circa 2001.


Birds! Are these the Marc by Marc Jacobs doing Steven Alan doing Liberty birds? Or is this the new fake Marc by Marc?


Spring-spirational title card color palette!


"I didn't know a house like this existed in my neighborhood."


So, this obviously happened. The rest of the episode is essentially this interspersed with brownstone porn.


These are Joshua's neighbors—who wouldn't want to date these totally accurate portrayals of boilerplate North Brooklyn man-children? "It's like having a frat house next door," says Josh. "This does not look like a frat house," Hannah replies—correctly. It looks a lot more like the off-campus house where all the skinny hipster and hardcore boys throw parties and ply pink-haired girls with keg beer.


And that's the bedroom.


"Okay I think your sweater costs more than my rent." Unlikely. It's probably not a $1400 sweater. However, it might be a $450 sweater.


And here is the garden-level topless ping-pong room.


After passing out and almost drowning in the (huge walk-in steam shower): "I thought I was a gummi-worm for like seven minutes."

Episode takeaway: The episode wraps up with Hannah weepily declaring how she wants it all and is totally crazy, but actually not crazy—citing that insane Fiona Apple article in New York while kind of sounding like a more-unhinged Liz Lemon. The next morning she lazes in Josh's garden, eats toasts, reads the paper—but! But she makes the bed and takes the trash out. Laughs were few and far between. Joshua wins the episode because he has that crazy house.

· All Girls coverage [Racked]