Would You Glue Your Boobs to Your Bra?

Racked is no longer publishing. Thank you to everyone who read our work over the years. The archives will remain available here; for new stories, head over to Vox.com, where our staff is covering consumer culture for The Goods by Vox. You can also see what we’re up to by signing up here.

Have you ever looked at a glue stick and said to yourself, "You know what, I could use a little extra cleavage today. If it weren't so very strictly against the rules of art-and-crafts time, I would stick that thing under my shirt right now, smear it all over my breasts, and glue my boobs right to my bra."

The fine folks at Bosom Couture are hoping that you answered yes to that question, because they have something for you: It's called Boob Glue and is exactly what it sounds like.

Allow the press release to explain: "Boob Glue 'lifts up' women to their fullest potential, helping to create confidence both inside and out." Apparently you are meant to apply this stuff by removing one breast at a time from your bra, holding the center of said breast and rolling Boob Glue "liberally and thoroughly" both on your skin and on the bra itself, and then holding breasts in the desired position in the bra until the glue dries.

The press release does not mention how long the bond is supposed to last, but even without that bit we can think of plenty of reasons why this might be a terrible idea: accidental skin removal scenarios, a hamper full of ruined lingerie, and what has got to be some seriously terrible post-product-application sex all come to mind.

Nonetheless, Bosom Couture insists that the product, the "first of its kind in the bra accessories world," is appropriate for breasts of all sizes, ages, and firmness.

"Created out of sheer necessity, it is the brainchild that had been hiding literally... right under my nose," says creator Dawn Jackson. It will be released officially in April, and until then you can head to Boob Glue's Facebook page for updates and other breast-themed inspiration.
· The C-String Would Like You To Reconsider That Bulky G-String [Racked]
· Here Is a Picture of Cindy Crawford Wearing Part of a Bathing Suit [Racked]
· Kate Upton's Boobs Are Getting Her in Trouble Again [Racked]