Bravo's Showdown Week 1: Will Brad or Rachel Come Out on Top?

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Once upon a time, queen of the stylists Rachel Zoe and her former assistant Brad Goreski were the best of friends. Now they're very much not. Both parties, however, are playing it all cool and taking the high road. Not Bravo! The TV home of both stylists' eponymous reality shows—the Rachel Zoe Project (season 5) and It's a Brad, Brad World (season 2)—is pitting the two against each other on Wednesday nights. It's Fashion's Night In, people! Who will wear the best jewelry? Who will develop the best catchphrase? Rachel's baby or Brad's dog? Chanel or Louis Vuitton? We at Racked are keeping score and will crown a winner each week before naming the champion of Bravo's fashion block. May the best fashionista win.

The Recaps:

The Rachel Zoe Project
Rachel is learning to balance her whole new life: She's still styling but now she's at the helm of a fashion label and doing the whole mom thing. Last night we joined the crew in New York for Fashion Week—not only is Rachel making the rounds but her line's first runway show, at Lincoln Center no less, is about to happen. There is a kink, however—that New York Post item regarding the collection's dicey future is published and all the bad is staunchly denied by Team Zoe.

It's a Brad, Brad World
Everything is coming up roses for Brad: His client roster has grown and he now has a team—an assistant plus two stylists (girl-stylist Hannah is totally Brad's Taylor—unphased and too cool for school, but nicer). Brad is in New York for Fashion Week as well—he's styling the Kate Spade presentation, which looks amazing, and he's dressing Minka Kelly in Jenny Packham for the Jenny Packham show.

Sheer Length
TRZP: 60 minutes
IABBW: 30 minutes
Winner: Rachel

Best Brand-Dropping
TRZP: Rachel attended the Marchesa, Prabal Garung, Oscar de la Renta (above—"he designs for the woman that dreams"), and Michael Kors (he loves her Twitter). The latter three even appeared on screen for a chat and a hug.
IABBW: Brad styled the Kate Spade presentation (adorable), visited Jenny Packham's showroom before attending the show, and almost missed the Monique Lhuillier show.
Winner: Obviously Rachel

Best New Catchphrase Possibility
TRZP: "Maje" is the new major.
IABBW: "Hashtag hashtag" is just the new everything.
Winner: #brad

Best Gratuitous Cuteness
TRZP: Baby Skyler coming into the studio in a striped onesie and a fedora trying on heels and dancing like a penguin.
IABBW: No dogs this week and all of Brad's Louis Vuitton probably doesn't apply.
Winner: Rachel, but by default

Best Outfit
TRZP: In the confessional Rachel had one some sort of double-collar situation, black and white, with piles of gold jewelry.
IABBW: Brad's navy leather moto with Steven Sprouse for Louis Vuitton lining—the rest of the outfit is irrelevant.
Winner: Brad, the end

Best Celebrity Cameo
TRZP: There were flashes of Kelly Osborne and Julianne Moore and Nina Garcia in the tents, but Rachel only actually talked to the designers we already mentioned above.
IABBW: Brad spent like the whole episode with Minka Kelly (above). But who is Minka Kelly?
Winner: Tie

Best Dance
TRZP: Skyler dancing like a penguin (reaction above).
IABBW: Brad dancing like a fool—impersonating Minka, in an Old Navy commercial, in his own commercial.
Winner: Quality not quantity—Skyler for Rachel

Best Totally Rambling Inspiration Spiel a la All Fashion People Ever
TRZP: Rachel refers to her season as Jane Birkin, tomboy, St. Tropez, glam, bangs, '60s, and Marianne Faithful. In the same breath.
IABBW: Brad refers to a Jenny Packham dress as a lacy lingerie moment.
Winner: Rachel. Sometimes quantity trumps quality.

Best Quote
TRZP: Nerves: "I don't even know what I look like. I don't even know who I am."
IABBW: So late to Monique Lhuillier he had to enter via the runway: "I'm opening the show now—as a surprise!"
Winner: Rachel

Best Mid-commercial Moment of Ridiculous
TRZP: Rachel on the best-thing-since-sliced-bread idiom: "Like, who cares, just slice your own bread;" sliced bread is "un-chic" anyway.
IABBW: Brad queening out in the middle of removing a fitted pullover for fear of "muffin-topping."
Winner: This is an extremely tough one, but Brad for relatability

Best Metaphor Dealie
TRZP: Rachel, comparing the day of her show to the day of the big game: "Game day! Game day! I don't even know what that means!"
IABBW: "Gary and I are gay, and we've been taught from a very young age to turn the beat around and that's what we're doing here. It's not just a song, it's a philosophy. Get with it, get on board." Gloria Estefan: Guru.
Winner: Another tight one, but Rachel for trying to compare anything to sports

Best Weird Nickname
TRZP: Mamma Bear, regarding Mandana's ulcers.
IABBW: Chic Daddy, noted at the Kate Spade showroom (above).
Winner: Brad

Best Nerves
TRZP: Rachel's pre-show jitters are "chaos."
IABBW: When Minka's Louboutins are too big Brad keeps it contained but is internally panicking. That's why he's always wearing blazers—armpit "waterfalls."
Winner: Brad, by a mile

Best Hair Moment
TRZP: Rachel gets bangs for basically no reason on a whim (above) during the show-styling consultation—she hasn't cut her hair since, like, her wedding. She spends the rest of the episode fiddling with them.
IABBW: Brad steals a stylist's hairspray back stage at Kate Spade and uses basically the whole bottle.
Winner: Tie—Rachel for drama and Brad for levity

Who Was On Watch What Happens
TRZP: Nada.
IABBW: Brad was there.
Winner: Brad—maybe

Total
TRZP: 9 points
IABBW: So close: Only 8

The (totally unscientific and subjective) Winner of Fashion's Night In Week 1: The Rachel Zoe Project—fashion fist pump!

· The Rachel Zoe Project [Bravo]
·It's a Brad, Brad World [Bravo]