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Cat Marnell wrote a book proposal and received a sweet $500,000 advance from Simon & Schuster. In the memoir, you'll learn about her days at Condé Nast, where "she has her interns fill her prescriptions for her" and the company pays for her to go to rehab. No word on her stint writing beauty editorials for XOJane, but we're sure it's in there somewhere. [Jezebel]