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TMZ broke the news that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have named their blank slate North West. The gossip site says that it's citing the physical birth certificate, but we don't think we can handle another false positive for Kimye's baby name, so this better be it, guys. While we wait for more reputable confirmation let's take a look at how the internet is handling the probably true rumor. Below find the news sources with the "best" North West jokes.
The Gaurdian for its cool skepticism: "Baby North West, if that is her real name, continues a long lineage of celebrity offspring with leftfield names." (Bonus points for reminding us how strange celebrity baby naming goes and developing a name generator because Toblerone Bieber, you guys.)
USA Today for its passive aggressive-yet-unbridled hatred: "Still no official confirmation via the Kardashians themselves, but they're known for their ability to manipulate the media and we're sure they'll make an announcement when they see fit."
Pretty much everything on The Cut but especially: "Probability that Kanye writes a song with the phrase "true north" in it: 98 percent; Probability that Kanye makes a pun about the pole with which he made North: 42 percent; Probability that they have another child, and that child's name is another ordinal direction: one percent." Also, "Northwest Airlines ceased operations in 2010, so it's not product placement."
Huffington Post because we're going to have to get used to cardinal and/or ordinal directions puns, unfortunately: "Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are certainly in for a new life direction with the birth of their first child—and that direction seems to be North West."
News breakers TMZ for that crazy compass photoshop job and for being reasonable about it: "There were rumors floating around a few months ago that Kim and Kanye West might give the baby a directional name ... but who thought they would actually go through with it? And when you look at the options—West West is redundant ... South West is an airline ... and East West leads to nowhere." Yeah, we get it now.
· Kim and Kanye Baby Name Revealed [TMZ]
· Riccardo Tisci Takes Full Responsibility for Kim's Met Dress [Racked]