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Hey look: Someone on Reddit uploaded a DIY for a "clubbing dress" made out of a white turtleneck. Step one is to travel back to 1993 and pick up a six pack of men's white turtlenecks from JCPenney. Steve Jobs-style mock versions won't do because they won't cover anyone's chest. No one's. As for sizes, the instructions suggest "a plain baggy L, XL, or XXL men's turtleneck sweater. (Note: The larger the size, the longer the dress will be.)" Noted.
While the result is something that would make grandparents cry, there has to be more than one practical use for the trick. For example, club by night and be one-third of the way dressed for church the next morning. Add in a gym shorts dress-wearing friend and you've got one complete, oversized walk-of-shame outfit.