Racked is no longer publishing. Thank you to everyone who read our work over the years. The archives will remain available here; for new stories, head over to Vox.com, where our staff is covering consumer culture for The Goods by Vox. You can also see what we’re up to by signing up here.
The 71st Annual Golden Globes, the Oscar prequel, if you will (we will), has come and gone, but not without a handful of notable happenings. There was the red-carpet (as seen here), which was functionally a live version of Candy Crush. The yellows! The reds! That turquoise thing around Sofia Vergara's neck. And then there were all those saucy actresses, from hosts Tiny Fey and Amy Poehler to the antics of Jennifer Lawrence, Elizabeth Moss, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus. See below for the most entertaining bits of the night plus a list of winners.
1. The Little Mermaid had a strange presence on the red carpet
2. Quick, watch all ten minutes of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler's opening monologue (duo-logue? conversation?) before it gets pulled from YouTube:
But in case they already did, three MVP jokes went as follows:
2a. Tina: "Meryl Streep is so brilliant in August: Osage County, proving that there are still great parts in Hollywood for Meryl Streeps over 60."
2b. Tina: "Matthew McConaughey did amazing work this year. For his role in Dallas Buyers Club, he lost 45 pounds. Or what actresses call being in a movie."
2c. Amy: "Woody Allen is the recipient of this year's Cecil B. DeMille Award, just a few years after Martin Scorsese won it. I assume the award is for the tiniest man with the biggest glasses."
2d. Amy: "One of the most nominated films this year is 12 Years a Slave. I loved 12 Years a Slave and I can honestly say that after seeing that film, I will never look at slavery the same way again."
Tina: "Wait, how were you—"
Amy: "And what a year for television!"
3. Elizabeth Moss did to the mani-cam what every woman has at some point wanted to do to the mani-cam:
4. Jennifer Lawrence pretend-pushed Taylor Swift down the red carpet stairs:
5. Emma Watson introduced the pants-dress hybrid number, aka a reverse mullet dress. It's a party in the front, business in the back. No wait. Lady-in-Hollywood business in the front, business-business in the back. No wait.
6. And now, Julia Louis-Dreyfus eating a hot dog:
7. Also, people won things. Here are the things people won:
Best Motion Picture, Drama: 12 Years A Slave
Best Picture, Musical Or Comedy: American Hustle
Best Actress, Motion Picture Drama Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine
Best Performance by an Actress In A Supporting Role in a Motion Picture: Jennifer Lawrence, American Hustler
Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series Musical or Comedy: Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation
Supporting Actress, Series, Miniseries or Movie: Jacqueline Bisset, Dancing on the Edge
Best Director, Motion Picture: Alfonso Cuaron, Gravity
Best Actor, Motion Picture Drama Matthew McConaughey, Dallas Buyers Club
Best Performance by an Actor in a Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television: Michael Douglas, Behind the Candelabra.
Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Musical or Comedy: Andy Samberg, Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Foreign Language Film: The Great Beauty, Italy
Screenplay, Motion Picture: Spike Jonze, Her
Supporting Actor Motion Picture Drama: Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club
Best Performance by an Actress In A Television Series - Drama: Robin Wright, House of Cards
Best Television Series Comedy: Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Actress Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy: Amy Adams, American Hustle
Actor Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy: Leonardo DiCaprio, The Wolf Of Wall Street
Supporting Actor, Series, Miniseries or Movie: Jon Voight, Ray Donovan
Original Song: "Ordinary Love" (music by Bono, The Edge, Adam Clayton, Larry Mullen Jr. and Brian Burton, lyrics by Bono), Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
Original Score: Alex Ebert, All Is Lost
Best Television Series Drama: Breaking Bad
Actor, Television Series Drama: Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
Best Performance by an Actress in a Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television: Elizabeth Moss, Top of the Lake
Best Miniseries Or Motion Picture Made for Television: Behind the Candelabra
Animated Film: Frozen