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Modern dating isn't easy for your average Buckingham Palace staffer, in service of the Queen and looking for love in all the wrong places—namely, GPS-based hook-up apps like Tinder and Grindr. According to the Daily Mail, of the 800 employees who stay in palace, many are using dating apps as everyone else on the planet uses them: for flings. That wouldn't be a problem except that members of the staff are bringing these unscreened lovers back to palace living quarters, causing one big sexy, sexy security breach.
A former head of royal protection, Chief Superintendent Dai Davies, called overnight guests in the palace a longtime "Achilles heel" of royal security: "Historically this has always been a problem, even when I was in charge way before the introduction of these so-called dating apps. If members of staff lived in certain quarters such as the Royal Mews and Kensington Palace, which have both single sex and married quarters, they were, and I presume still are, permitted to bring back unvetted guests. Often these guests were total strangers. It makes a complete mockery of the security structure, unfortunately." Somewhere a script just got green-lit and a really dirty Buckingham Palace pun was made.