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The Complete 'Guide' to Stealing From Whole Foods

Photo: Getty
Photo: Getty

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Thought Catalog took a break from publishing overwrought personal essays to run a "guidebook" to how to steal from Whole Foods. It might've been tongue-in-cheek, but writer/controversial Rap Genius co-founder Mahbod Moghadam clearly knows his way around a Whole Foods store.

Some advice is specific, as in which bulk bin codes to use to get out of paying for fancy almonds. Or getting cilantro from the salad bar because "cilantro at the salad bar is in fact a tenth of the price of cilantro in the produce section." Other tips are more of a way of life, like always grazing on grapes, apricots, and figs as you shop. Moghadam writes: "Not even a rule, more an aspiration: for every pound you buy at the salad bar, you should be eating a pound while you make the salad." There's also some racial stereotyping so would-be Whole Foods hustlers can figure out "who the cool cashiers are."

The commenters are pretty evenly divided as to whether this is "morally bankrupt" or a "witty, pseudo satirical piece." Moghadam names his home Whole Foods store and one commenter writes, "I happen to the know the store team leader of that store well. He saw the article and knows your face—have fun getting arrested!"
· How To Steal From Whole Foods [Thought Catalog]
· This Is the Most Organic Marriage Proposal of Them All [Racked]
· The Insane Economics Behind Costco's Free Samples [Racked]