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Crucial Update

Friend$hip: The Cast of Characters That Make Up Rihanna's Instagram

Jason Merritt/Getty Images

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friend$hip. in. 2014.

Une photo publiée par badgalriri (@badgalriri) le

We live in a world where Rihanna's triumphant return to Instagram gets covered by CNN. And, in the vernacular of @badgalriri herself, why the phuck wouldn't it? It's the best celebrity Instagram, period. Rihanna is having more fun being a famous person than all other famous people combined, and her social media accounts reflect that in vivid, weird, casually sexual detail.

And she doesn't do it alone. Rihanna's Instagram is populated with a deep cast of characters, both major and minor. Below, we've rounded up the most frequent cameos you'll find on @badgalriri. The setting: a yacht somewhere in Barbados. The cast, in no particular order:

A photo posted by @mdollas11 on

Best friend @mdollas11, who is like a second helping of Rihanna. Forde is also a photographer, so she's responsible for a lot of the glam shots of our bad gal. She and Rihanna are childhood #bfflyfes.

Rihanna's personal assistant @jennnrosales is basically a best friend on the payroll (see exhibit a, b, c, d, e, f, and particularly g.)


A photo posted by badgalriri (@badgalriri) on

This recurring stick figure. There isn't a ton of intel on it, but that's probably for the best.

A photo posted by badgalriri (@badgalriri) on

Weed. A lot of it. Though since her return to Instagram, there's been considerably less of it?

A video posted by @mdollas11 on

@sonitalex, a physics-defying dance goddess and medical professional.

Another longtime Rihanna friend (since they were 11 attending the Combermere School in Barbados), though Rihanna said they hated each other in the beginning because they a) have the same skin tone b) were born four days apart and c) were same height at the time. She is now a DOCTOR. Rihanna is so lucky to have a friend that likes to party, but can also answer various medical queries.

A photo posted by badgalriri (@badgalriri) on

Carefully camouflaged nipples. You know, since not carefully camouflaged nipples would deprive of the legend of her rightful Insta throne.

A video posted by badgalriri (@badgalriri) on

This toddler. Who is this toddler? We still don't know, but we need more of her. More!

A photo posted by @ms_ogella on

Rihanna's cousin's baby, and subsequently this baby meme.

A photo posted by badgalriri (@badgalriri) on

This pair of underwear.

This badass grandfather, Bravo. He's in his mid-80s and bad as phuck.