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8 Bits of Enlightenment From Goop's Tantric Sex Guide

Photo: Getty Images
Photo: Getty Images

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Goop has dimmed the lights and set the scene for romance in the latest post on tantric sex. The Gwyneth Paltrow-approved guide will help couples and non-couples achieve "deep intimacy," without forcing seven hours of straight intercourse. In true goop fashion, there are bundles of irresistible lines. Here are the very goop-iest:

Exactly:
"In reality, only a small portion of tantra has anything to do with sex, and only as a way to merge with the divine."

Oh, rly?:
"Each human has both masculine and feminine in them. We usually tend to enjoy one aspect more than the other—that's what is called the essence."

Hobbies:
"Sexually speaking, the partner with a feminine essence enjoys the aspects of surrender, dissolution, and being ravished."

I don't think that word means what you think it means:
"This becomes a source of disconnect and dissonance: As she 'downloads' him on her day, he is craving silence—neither one of them is getting what they want or need."

Fully charged, like your iPhone:
"There needs to be that separation—getting full and getting empty—before they can come together again fully charged."

Swirls:
"As a feminine essence you relax into the ever changing swirls of emotion and texture, movement, and sound. You practice experiencing pleasure in your body and showing that pleasure to your chosen partner. You cultivate ways to move energy through your body and learn how to become responsive and give instant feedback."

Staring, as good as sex:
"Practice looking at each other, while staying relaxed, breathing and simply noticing when you have reached a threshold where it's just a bit too intimate. Hang out there for a bit and you will find that this can be as good as sex!"

Everybody's got a dark side:
"Mix it up, risk something new or unpack an old and almost forgotten favorite. Learn some new techniques and have fun and humor experimenting again.
 And finally, make friends with your 'dark side.' Nothing enlivens intimacy more."