Cookie banner

This site uses cookies. Select "Block all non-essential cookies" to only allow cookies necessary to display content and enable core site features. Select "Accept all cookies" to also personalize your experience on the site with ads and partner content tailored to your interests, and to allow us to measure the effectiveness of our service.

To learn more, review our Cookie Policy, Privacy Notice and Terms of Use.

or
clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

A Plea to Impeach Jared Leto's New Porn 'Stache

Racked is no longer publishing. Thank you to everyone who read our work over the years. The archives will remain available here; for new stories, head over to Vox.com, where our staff is covering consumer culture for The Goods by Vox. You can also see what we’re up to by signing up here.


Tragedy has befallen one of our nation's most cherished faces: Jared Leto, man of infallible locks and soul-penetrating eyes, has broken hearts all over the world in one (or, like, ten) fell swoops of a razor. Above you'll find the most heinous mustache of all time. It's long, discolored and somehow makes him look even more like a lady that shoulder-length ombré hair. Even Orange Is the New Black's Pornstache looks like a totally not creepy kindergarden teacher's facial hair in comparison. You ask us "How ya like my #stash," Jared? We won't honor that question with an answer. We won't stoop that low.

· Jared Leto's Hommebré Hair Can Do No Wrong [Racked]
· Neymar Went Full Backstreet Boy for Latest World Cup Match [Racked]