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- All photos via Getty
- The rumor that Cristiano Ronaldo's haircut intentionally resembles a boy's brain surgery scars is highly (
- It's more feasible that Ronaldo had to go with the ambiguous stripe because Nani already took the star.
- And in more Portugal hair news, Raul Meireles looks like a pirate internationally known as the Hawk'd Red Beard. Or "hipster" in laymens terms.
- Does Neymar have frosted tips like a Backstreet Boy? Oh yes he do.
- Uruguay's Edinson Cavani has a lot of potential for an epic man-bun.
- The US's Kyle Beckerman's dreads make us want to look back at it.
- Hola Guillermo Ochoa, me gusta la headband.
- Swoon City, circa Panagiotis Kone's head.
- Extra points for actually dying the fade are in order for France's Paul Pogba.
- We sincerely hope Arturo Vidal of Chile did this to his head because it's scientifically proven to make him go faster. He probably shaves his arms too.
- So aerodynamic. You can barely see him.
- France's Bacary Sagna is making our inner-five-year-old squirm with jealousy thanks to his Midas touch.
- Côte D'Ivoire's Die Serey somehow out-mohawks a legion of soccer players. This is big. This is really big.
- Not Richard Simmons. (David Luiz.)
- A late edition add for John Boye of Ghana's racing stripes. We'll resurrect the word "fierce" to describe the dye-job and then re-bury it immediately.